


overcoming despair (in the name of hope)

by chuwuyas



Series: tales of despondency & desire [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: (i suppose?), Developing Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Are Merged, Holding Hands, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Post-Canon, Post-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Post-Game(s), Slow Build, Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Spoilers, Two Minds One Body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28280946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuwuyas/pseuds/chuwuyas
Summary: In the aftermath of the turbulent battle between hope and despair, Hinata Hajime and Komaeda Nagito seek the strength to move on.It's not easy.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Everyone, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Minor or Background Relationship(s), past Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito
Series: tales of despondency & desire [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987651
Comments: 17
Kudos: 119





	overcoming despair (in the name of hope)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm back!!!
> 
> If you're here through the Komahina tag, this work is the second part of a previous Kamukoma work of mine that you can find in my profile. I would say you don't have to read it first to understand this one, but there is some stuff here that can be quite confusing if you did not read the Kamukoma one, so I'm afraid you'll have to read that one first. However, if you don't mind not understanding certain references, just have fun with this one!
> 
> The minor relationships are Kuzuryuu/Pekoyama, Nidai/Owari, Tanaka/Sonia, Saionji/Koizumi and some hints at Mioda/Tsumiki/Twogami ot3, although this one can be read as simply Mioda platonically adopting both of them. Also, there are a lot of scenes referencing the past relationship between Komaeda and Kamukura. Everything is pretty minor (with the exception of the Kamukoma scenes that are a key point to the story), just some stuff here or there, but if you're not comfortable with any of these shipps just be careful please!! Skip the scenes with them if you wish!!
> 
> Also, there is a very very brief scene of a panic attack in the middle of the story. If you wish to skip it, just skip the paragraphs between double asterisks (**).
> 
> Enjoy!!

The pod he wakes up in is uncomfortably cold against his feverish-hot skin.

He wakes up gasping for air, with his eyes widened, and his heart beating so fast inside his chest that he honestly thinks it would explode. His head throbs and his long hair sticks to his sweaty skin –disgusting, uncomfortable. For a moment, he doesn’t know where he is, doesn’t remember what’s happening. It’s unsettling, alarming, worrisome.

Then he hears a very soft gasping sound by the pod on his far left, and memories of the despairing experience they were all forced to go through suddenly return to his mind like crashing waves –the Neo World Program. Hope, despair. His friends dying, his friends killing each other. Nanami. Komaeda. The Kamukura project.

Someone helps him out of the IV on his arm before he gets hurt, helps him out of the several threads connecting him to a large machine, then helps him out of his pod when he can no longer sit still, but he doesn’t look at their face. He doesn’t have time for it. His hair is long enough to frame his ankles and almost long enough for him to trip on the tips as he hurriedly walks around the room as soon as he manages to stand by himself without tripping to check on his friends who, just like him, just woke up from the simulation and were gasping for air, some of them screaming, some of them crying. He talks Sonia out of a panic attack, barely avoids getting hit in the face by Kuzuryuu, softly combs Owari’s messy hair as she sobs quietly against his chest. Souda’s distressing screams still echo around the room, even after he is no longer screaming. The world around him spins and spins and spins and he isn’t quite sure how he is still standing, but he is. He can’t stop now, can’t allow his knees to give up under him now. His friends need him, they _need_ him.

Naegi Makoto, Togami Byakuya and Kirigiri Kyouko patiently wait for them to calm down, offering assistance and reassurance, helping them out of their pods before leading them to a side room with some sofas and armchairs. They talk to them, explain their current situation, give them food and water and a place to rest. They tell them they would need to remain at the facility for a couple of days to recover, tell them how the world is outside, tell them how everything is still burning down in flames but slowly getting better. He doesn’t listen to a word they say. Everything happens so fast that he barely records the events that happen before his hazy eyes.

He waits until everyone is calmer, waits until he is sure none of them (himself included) would break down again, waits until he is no longer shaking when he stands, then excuses himself and leaves the resting room behind. A Future Foundation member (Asahina, if he is not mistaken) leads him to a small bedroom and tells him that this is his room for the time being, then tells him to call her if he needs anything and excuses herself, leaving him alone in the cold room.

As he stands by the closed door and stares at the empty, tiny bedroom, he can’t help the feeling that something is off, that the double bed doesn’t feel right if he’s the only one occupying this room. His head throbs, his heart aches, his vision is still foggy, and he can’t help the annoying feeling that he’s forgetting something important. _Someone_ important. Someone he shouldn’t forget.

He chews his lips, ignores his throbbing head and walks into the bathroom adjacent to his room, staring at his reflection in the full-length wall mirror.

He doesn’t recognize the person who stares back at him.

Although the roots were of the usual odd olive color he was already used to, his hair is dark, way darker than he remembered it being, almost pitch-black, and probably long enough to drag on the floor if it’s properly combed, but it’s hard to tell when the long strands are all messy and tangled, full of knots like that. There’s a single thin streak of white hair on the left side of his head, going from the root to the tips, probably the result of when he and _the other guy_ were merged. His eyes, now heterochromatic (hazel on the right side, crimson red on the left; an odd, alien combination), are now distinctly colder than he remembered, lacking the usual light and life. There are deep, dark bags under his eyes, his usually tanned skin is pale, his lips are chapped. He stares at his reflection in the mirror, and a stranger stares back at him.

He finds a scissor in the cabinet under the sink. A familiar voice inside his mind tells him to pull one of his now several talents. He does not.

The long, dark strands of his hair hit the floor silently as the scissor messily goes chop, chop, chop, in the cold, lonely bathroom.  
  


* * *

 _  
“Did you enjoy the game that we set up? Now, you all should understand. How boring the Future Foundation is. _ _Don't you think it would be boring for the world to be saved with a happy ending? That is why we wish to plunge the world into despair once more. The world needs despair.”  
  
_

* * *

  
It’s always hot on Jabberwock Island.

Of course, he already expected that –Jabberwock Island _was_ a paradise island, after all. A tropical island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, surrounded by crystal-clear waters and white sand, where summer “never ended”, as they were already told. Of course a beach would be hot, of course a tropical, paradise island would be hot.

But sometimes it was just so damn _annoying._

Jabberwock Island just never seemed to get cold –not during the night, _especially_ not during the day. Not in the simulation, not in real life. The island just didn’t seem to plan on giving them a break from the excruciatingly hot weather; it was always hot, the sun always shone brightly, the ocean waters were always warm and the soft white sand was always too hot for comfort, but it was only a matter of time until he got used to it. He would eventually get used to it, because the others did, because they were okay now, safe and sound. Jabberwock Island was better than Tokyo, better than Towa City (it was always cold in Towa City, according to what Kuzuryuu had told him), better than any hellhole they found themselves in before the Future Foundation rescued them, and the others seemed to really like the beach, the island, now that they no longer needed to worry about a killing game, about killing _each other,_ about surviving, so he would have to get used to the forever summer weather. For the sake of his classmates, and for the sake of himself.

It didn’t necessarily mean some of them didn’t handle their new situation better than others, however.

 _It was just natural,_ he eventually figured. Some of them died in the simulation, some of them _killed_ in the simulation, some of them barely escaped alive from the simulation, and people didn’t always deal with certain things in the same way as others. People have different coping mechanisms. They all had their own demons, had their trauma –healing was a slow, troubling process, and they were just starting to deal with the consequences of what they have done, being it the events of the simulation or the things they have done under the influence of despair, now that their memories from before the simulation were back and they remembered all the bad things they did; they’ve been on Jabberwock Island for barely two weeks, after all. No matter how much one tried to deny it, they were not okay, and they all knew they were not okay, but they would be. Eventually. One day.

There were days where he could see some of his friends dissociating, having trouble fighting the despair deeply engraved inside their hearts, struggling to take back control of their bodies. Days were despair won but just briefly, but long enough to fuck up their minds just a little more than they were already fucked –days where he could see Tsumiki with glassy eyes, smiling creepily at Saionji, giggling and babbling and with her face flushed as she talked about the fake _love_ she felt for their late enemy. Days where Kuzuryuu woke up screaming and crying and scratching the scar across his right eye and would not stop screaming until he saw Pekoyama, until he was sure she was still alive and breathing, there by his side. Days where Owari struggled to eat, days where Hanamura asked to be kept away from the kitchen no matter how much he begged the others to allow him there, days where Sonia wouldn’t say a word in fear of convincing someone to do things they did not want to. Days where he himself dissociated, struggling to know who he was.

Days where Komaeda isolated himself from the others and no one could find him no matter how thoroughly they sought him.

(Except for Hinata, of course, because Hinata would always find Komaeda no matter how much Komaeda tried to hide from him.)

It happened for the first time right on their first day at the island, briefly after they left the boat that brought them there. The trip to the island was spent with easy giggles and light jokes to lighten up the mood, but the tension in the air was so palpable that it could be felt even with one eyes’ closed –they were returning to the place where some of them _killed_ and some of them _were killed,_ after all. Of course they were scared, of course they were anxious. It was only natural they were. 

Komaeda stuck by his side during the entire trip to the island, silent, fumbling with the torn ends of his dark green coat. He laughed at Souda’s jokes when he talked with him, listened to what Kuzuryuu had to say to him and had a short conversation with him, helped Sonia bring her food to the closest table, but other than that he was quiet, off, distant. Like he was lost in thought. Like he was kinda there, but not quite. But although odd, Komaeda’s silent presence was somehow comforting, welcoming, pleasant –it was strange, finding comfort in Komaeda. Komaeda was not someone who brought comfort to others, quite the opposite, but he grew used to the man’s antics. They did spend a lot of time together in the simulation, after all. Probably more than others.

But the comfort, of course, didn’t last long.

It all went down in flames as soon as the boat dropped them on the island.

They hadn’t even completely left the boat yet when Saionji’s loud voice echoed loudly through the shore, louder than the general chat and the crashing waves.

“Well, now we just have to figure out who’s gonna keep an eye on the creepy guy. Someone volunteer?”

Komaeda instantly froze. Hinata could see some of the others freezing as well.

“Um,” it was Souda who vocalized first. “What?”

“What, you ask,” Saionji mocked, rolling her eyes. “Well, do you feel safe with him running around wild and free? Because I certainly don’t,” she stated, stomping her feet on the sand. “I mean, I didn’t survive that long in the simulation but Owari-san told us what he did. Or at least what he _tried_ to do,” she proceeded, hoping her words would put some sense in the others’ minds, but when the others didn’t humor her, she angrily stomped her feet on the sand again and threw her arms up in an exasperate way. “C’mon, he tried to _kill_ you all! He planned your murder! He bombed the hotel and literally tried to kill everyone but the gamer girl! How are you letting him go around wild and free?! That’s not safe! He’s _dangerous!”_

Through his peripheral vision, Hinata could see Komaeda stiffen, with his hands opening and closing in fists and jaw clenched. Something about the sight made him strangely uncomfortable, huffy, annoyed, as if Saionji’s words were directed specifically at him even when he knew they were not.

“Saionji, I don’t think you-” Hinata started, but stopped as soon as he heard Komaeda’s soft, breathy giggle behind him. It sounded fake.

“It’s okay, Hinata-kun. Saionji-san is right,” he said with an easy smile, hands up in the air in a ‘I surrender’ way. “No one would want trash, scumbag like me around. I understand. I will not interfere with your plans anymore.”

“Komaeda-”

“It’s okay, Hinata-kun. Really,” Komaeda said again with the same easy smile as before, but the smile, Hinata noticed, didn’t reach his eyes. “I will try to find a place to stay where you will not have to endure seeing my disgusting face first thing in the morning. Now, if you excuse me,” he concluded, and then turned on his heels and walked away from the group towards the exit of the beach, just like that. Hinata watched him go with his lips pressed in a thin line and an oddly aching heart. No one tried to stop him from going.

“Look, I ain’t sayin’ that guy is innocent,” Owari started once Komaeda was far from view, poking at her ear with her pinky. “But in the end he ended up being a victim too, yeah? Just like all of us.”

“Also, if we do follow Saionji-san’s train of thought,” Sonia said in a low voice, more to herself than the others, index finger tapping her chin. “Wouldn’t that mean we would also have to keep an eye on the people who _actually_ killed someone? They too would be deemed dangerous, yes?”

“Not only that, but we all did a shit ton of fucked up shit in real life under the influence of that fucking psychopath too, didn’t we?” Kuzuryuu added, arms crossed over his chest and an annoyed expression in his face; maybe by pure force of habit, he brought one hand to touch the scar crossing his right eye, an eye that was no longer there, but quickly dropped it as soon as he noticed what he was doing. “Point is, we’re all to blame and no one here is innocent. Save for maybe Hinata, who was not exactly Hinata back then.”

“It would be troublesome if we all decided to go out and judge each other for the mistakes we all made, for crimes we all committed,” Pekoyama said, complementing Kuzuryuu’s speech, arms also crossed over her chest. He nodded.

Saionji blinked, opening and closing her mouth a couple of times. He eyed Pekoyama sideways, lips twisting up in disgust. “I- well, that would-”

“I think we should all keep an eye on each other,” Hinata said with a small nod, joining the discussion. Everyone turned to look at him, and he instantly felt uncomfortable with all the attention. “For now, for… Safety purposes. Everything is still... Too fresh, too new. We just left the program, and we just got here, and despair is not something that vanishes out of thin air. We need time to heal.” He said with another small nod, and Sonia and a few others nodded as well. He sighed in relief.

“Hmph, I suppose you’re right,” Saionji grumped with her arms crossed over her chest, standing by Koizumi’s side. Hinata scoffed softly under his breath.

“For now, why don’t we go around and explore the island and install ourselves?” said the _Super High School Level Imposter,_ going by “Togami Byakuya” again now that the real Mitarai Ryouta was with them. “As I record, not everyone lived long enough to see all the side islands in the simulation, yes? Myself included.”

“U-um,” Mitarai shyly murmured, half-hiding behind Togami. “S-some of us are seeing the island for the first time.”

“Then we shall explore it together,” Togami replied with a nod, not looking at Mitarai from over their shoulders.

Mioda smiled openly, grabbing Tsumiki by the arm. “Oh! May we tag along?! We can show you up to the third island and then we can explore the others together! Ibuki heard from Kazuichi-chan that there’s an amusement park on the fourth island!”

Togami nodded again. “You may.”

“I think we should also check on the cottages,” Koizumi said, raising her hand. “To see if it’s the same from the simulation and we have one for everyone or if we’ll have to share.”

“I shall also begin with dinner preparations,” Hanamura said with a smirk, rubbing his chin with his thumb and index finger. “If one of the ladies wishes to help me~” he then stopped, pondered for a moment, and smirked again. “Or one of the boys. I have no preferences~”

“I’ll help with the cottages’ check!” stated Nidai loudly with a firm nod of his head, slamming his fist into his open palm. Owari nodded in agreement by his side.

“I shall assist too!” Sonia said. Souda’s eyes immediately lightened up.

“Oh? If Sonia-san is going then I’ll-”

“Tanaka-san, could you help me?” Sonia interrupted him, walking toward Tanaka and stopping in front of him with her hands clasped together. He smirked at her and nodded.

“Very well. If you so desire, then I shall assist you in this task,” he answered her, and then both of them left the beach together, shoulders brushing softly as they walked side by side. Souda watched them go until they disappeared from view, then promptly started whimpering.

“Man, I was really thrown to the corner,” he grumbled, pulling his beanie down until it covered his eyes. Kuzuryuu snorted and gave him a clap on the back.

“You get over it.”

One by one, the class slowly dissipated into separated groups and they all left the beach for their respective tasks until Hinata, Kuzuryuu, Pekoyama and Souda were the only ones left on the beach. By now, the sun had already started to go down on the horizon, painting the sky with beautiful orange, pink and purple tones and reflecting on the crystal-clear water like a watercolor portrait, with the white waves gently crashing on the shore at their feet –the cool ocean breeze was a welcome, pleasant riddance from the hotness of the island, and Hinata wished he could stare at the horizon, appreciate the beautiful view forever, but it didn’t take long for the remaining people with him on the beach to start talking among themselves, their voices just slightly louder than the crashing sounds of the white waves.

“We should assist Nidai-san and the others with the cottages now,” said Pekoyama in her usual cool, calm voice. “We should also see if there’s electricity here. Before it gets dark.”

“I agree,” Kuzuryuu replied. “Let’s go.”

Hinata sighed under his breath, stared at the horizon for a while longer, then turned on his heels to follow the others. However, before he could, Kuzuryuu stopped him.

“No, not you,” he said, palming Hinata’s chest to stop him. “What are you doing? You’re gonna look for Komaeda.”

“What?” Hinata blinked. “Why me?”

Kuzuryuu squinted his single eye towards Hinata. Surprisingly, didn’t curse him like Hinata expected him to –didn’t tell him that he’s their leader, that he’s the only one who can tame Komaeda, that that was his role in the group. No, he did something even more terrifying. 

He just silently stared at Hinata with his eye squinted for a moment, like he was studying his reactions, until the curious and confused look in his eye suddenly became a look of sorrowness and pity, of sadness, once he didn’t find whatever he was searching for. For some reason, his stare burned. It was uncomfortable, like Hinata was guilty of something.

Once again, he couldn’t help the uncomfortable, annoying feeling that he was forgetting something important. Something he shouldn’t be forgetting.

“...Nothing,” Kuzuryuu ended up saying after a moment in silence, with his jaw clenched and eye still full of sadness. “I just… Think you should be the one looking for him.”

Hinata blinked again, and it was now his turn to squint his eyes at Kuzuryuu; he was _hiding_ something. Why was he hiding something? What exactly was he hiding?

“...Okay,” he ended up nodding, still unsure of what Kuzuryuu was hiding. “I’ll look for him.”

It was Kuzuryuu’s turn to nod. “Once you find him, go back to the cottages. We could use some additional help.”

“Will do,” Hinata nodded again. Then, he stayed behind and watched the others leave the beach together, Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama looking over their shoulders to shoot him a sorrowful look once or twice until they were completely gone. Once he could no longer see them, Hinata sighed.

He stared at the white waves crashing on the shore, at the sun slowly setting on the horizon, at the pink clouds around the orange sky, and wondered: where could Komaeda have gone?

 _He likes high places where he can observe everyone else,_ said a familiar, quiet voice inside his mind. He didn’t pay attention to the voice, just looked around the beach and the horizon for a high place where Komaeda could have gone and mentally listed the high places the other islands also had for a possible hiding spot. _He also likes to be alone from time to time, and likes to stare at the horizon._

_The castle on the fourth island is a good place to start._

Hinata hummed at himself, then turned around on his heels and started walking towards the entrance of the beach, heading to the main island so he could then head towards the castle. 

He didn’t have time to think about how he knew all those things about Komaeda.  
  


* * *

  
He did actually end up finding Komaeda on the castle by the fourth island, sitting alone on the parapet of one of the rooftops, humming a song under his breath and staring at the now dark evening sky full of tiny star dots with his legs lazily moving in the air below him. Hinata instantly sighed in relief as soon as he saw the fluffy white hair, glad that he wouldn’t need to spend the night looking for the man.

Komaeda didn't stop humming nor did he acknowledge Hinata’s presence until Hinata stopped by his side and gently cleared his throat to announce his presence.

He gasped in surprise and immediately stopped humming as soon as he heard him, looking up to face him. “Hinata-kun,” he blinked, surprised. “How did you find me?”

Hinata shrugged, sitting by Komaeda’s side. That was a question he did not have an answer to. “Lucky guess?”

Komaeda stared at him bewildered for a moment, eyes slightly widened in surprise, until he scoffed softly under his breath and looked away from Hinata to the horizon again. At a distance, dim lights could be seen. “Ah, of course,” he said, giggling softly. His giggle, just like his voice, was slightly breathy. “You know, someone once told me that our lucks cancel each other out.”

Hinata found himself nodding, and then the same familiar voice from before returned to the back of his mind, soft, distant, like it was speaking through a puddle of water; _only when put directly against each other._

He frowned slightly at himself, at the voice. “Only… When put directly against each other?”

Komaeda turned around to look at Hinata again, surprised, like he was not expecting him to say that, with his head turning so fast in Hinata’s direction that Hinata was actually afraid his neck would snap for a moment. When their eyes met, there was a sparkle of _something_ inside those pale green-greyish eyes that Hinata couldn’t put a name to, but that made him quite uneasy. Slightly annoyed and uncomfortable, again, like he should _know_ what he just said. He did not.

The sparkle of something lasted for about a minute, while Komaeda studied Hinata’s face in search of _something_ just like Kuzuryuu had done earlier, and when he did not find it, he sighed and smiled sadly, chuckling under his breath.

“That was mean, Hinata-kun,” he quietly said, still smiling sadly, eyes closed and head slightly tilted to the side. “You can’t say things like that. It’s not good for this old heart of mine.”

“I’m… Sorry?” Hinata apologized with a small frown, just because he didn’t know what exactly he was apologizing for. “It just… Popped up in my mind. Sorry, I won’t say that again.”

“It’s okay,” Komaeda said, moving his legs back and forth in the air below him, staring at the horizon again. “It was me who shouldn’t be expecting things I know I can’t have.”

Hinata nodded, not knowing exactly what he was agreeing to, but he could relate to the feeling. That, however, didn’t make him any less curious –whoever said that to Komaeda, was someone important. It was such a simple phrase, seemingly random, but apparently carried meaning. Hinata, however, didn’t press further; Komaeda was already dealing with a mass rejection by their classmates, he didn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable.

(This and the fact that, judging by Komaeda’s reaction, whoever said that was no longer around.)

“How are you feeling?” Was what Hinata opted to say instead, staring at the side of Komaeda’s face, legs also moving back and forth in the air below him. Curiously, he shot a look downwards, staring at the high fall and mentally calculating the height of the fall and how long it would take for them to hit the floor if they accidentally fell (99 feet, 25m/s –it took him less than two seconds to calculate it).

Komaeda smiled. It didn’t seem genuine. “If you’re worried about what Saionji-san said, I’m quite fine. You shouldn’t be worrying about me.”

“She was kinda mean,” Hinata murmured, looking away from Komaeda’s face to stare at the horizon –at a distance, probably using one of his talents without even noticing it, he saw Mioda, Togami, Mitarai and Tsumiki heading together towards the rollercoaster. They did not see him. He did not wave at them.

“That’s Saionji-san for you,” Komaeda scoffed, throwing his body back until he was lying down on the rooftop. He crossed his hands (the left one prosthetic, now free of the previously rotten one) over his chest, staring absently at the pretty evening sky, free of clouds and full of stars. “But really, I don’t mind. After all, it’s not like she’s doing that out of nowhere, is it? I deserve this sort of treatment.”

“No one deserves this sort of treatment,” Hinata stated, and Komaeda looked away from the stars to give him a doubtful look, raising a questioning eyebrow. “It would be hypocrisy on our part to judge you for the things you’ve done when we all did the same things or even worse things. I mean, no one goes around shitting on Kuzuryuu for being literally mafia, do they? Or on Pekoyama? Hell, have you heard about the things _Sonia_ did after the Tragedy? Or Hanamura? Or even the things _I_ did?” he let out a bitter laugh, running his fingers through his badly chopped hair. “I _orchestrated_ the killing game, I _masterminded_ it, yet no one seems to remember this.”

“It wasn’t you,” Komaeda replied, coldly, quietly, tapping his metal fingers on the rooftop once, twice. “It wasn’t you who orchestrated the killing game.”

“My point is, we’re all fucked up,” Hinata proceeded, inhaling deeply. “We all did fucked up things during the influence of despair, but we’re no longer the people we used to be, are we? So why can’t we start over?”

For a moment, they fell in a comfortable silence, although slightly heavy from the heavy topic. Neither of them said anything for a couple of minutes, they just quietly stayed next to each other with Komaeda still lying on the rooftop and Hinata sitting by his side on the parapet of it, staring at the horizon growing darker and darker with each passing minute. The stars shimmered above them. Lights shone at a distance.

It was Komaeda who broke the silence, after five or so minutes. “Start over, huh?” He said, then sat back down next to Hinata, smiling quietly. When Hinata turned to look at him, Komaeda extended his right hand. “Hello, my name is Komaeda Nagito. I used to go to Hope’s Peak Academy under the title of _‘Super High School Level Good Luck’_ before the Tragedy. What about you?”

Hinata squinted his eyes at Komaeda, frowning in confusion for a moment, before smiling and chuckling softly. He took Komaeda’s hand on his, giving a soft shake. His hand was warm. “I’m Hinata Hajime. I too went to Hope’s Peak Academy, but I was a reserve course student. I ended up signing up for the Kamukura Izuru Project later, and was given the title of _‘Super High School Level Hope’_ because of my now several talents.”

Although there was a hint of sadness behind his eyes, Komaeda smiled warmly. “It’s very nice to meet you, Hinata-kun. I hope we can be friends.”

Hinata returned the smile, just as warmly.

“Me too, Komaeda-kun. Me too.”  
  


**-x-x-x-  
  
**

(After that, they ended up staying at the castle for another two hours. Once they were back, no one mentioned it.)  
  


* * *

It’s always hot on Jabberwock Island.

Although Hinata found himself quite annoyed at the hotness of the island, the others seemed to enjoy it quite a lot.

It was rare to see the hotel pool unoccupied, or to see the others without their hair or clothes wet from swimming at the sea. Owari, Souda, Mioda, Hanamura and Nidai were the ones who liked the warm ocean water the most, while Pekoyama, Kuzuryuu and Sonia preferred the still waters of the pool –some others, like Tanaka, Togami, Tsumiki and Mitarai, preferred neither of them and just favored places like the movie theater and the amusement park where they could just sit and relax for a while, although Tanaka was slightly wary of the funhouse and usually avoided it when he was walking around the park with Sonia. Saionji and Koizumi stuck together most of the time and usually spent their time alone, but every now and then Mioda, Owari and Sonia would join them for an evening tea (not Pekoyama and Tsumiki, though. Never Pekoyama and Tsumiki). And Hinata...

Aside from Kuzuryuu, Pekoyama, Owari and surprisingly Souda, Hinata was the only one among their friends that was actually willing to spend time around Komaeda.

 _“It’s not their fault,”_ Komaeda would say every time one of their friends walked away when he approached them and left him alone with Hinata. _“I, too, would not want to spend time with trash like me if I were them.”_ Hinata would beg to differ.

It wasn’t fair.

They talked about this before, Hinata and the others. More than once –right when they arrived on the island, and before they even boarded the ship. Before Komaeda woke up. Before _any_ of the others woke up. The survivors (five of them, god, only _five_ of them) talked about Komaeda and his actions in the simulation and they _did not_ talk about Nanami and then they talked about Enoshima Junko and despair and they talked about how _fucked up_ everyone was and then Kuzuryuu talked about when he ran into Komaeda in Towa City and he talked about how fucking _broken_ he was yet… And yet…

Everyone was so goddamn _mean_ to Komaeda. It wasn’t _fair._

(Of course, Hinata was also not innocent in this regard. He was no hypocrite. No, he remembered how badly he treated Komaeda in the simulation, how shitty he acted on certain occasions (the way he acted when Komaeda had the despair disease, god, what an _asshole),_ but at least he overcame that, tried to _understand_ him, tried to see his point of view. How could he condemn his actions when everyone did pretty much the same, or even worse things? In the end of the day, they were just humans, and humans are bound to make mistakes. Hinata forgave Komaeda long ago, and Komaeda forgave him as well.

Komaeda forgave all the others, too, but the others...) 

Hinata figured healing would be a long, slow, troublesome process, but sometimes it seemed like the others didn’t care enough about Komaeda to overcome _that_ part of their endless list of endless problems.

Komaeda, apparently, found his concern amusing. “It seems like it bothers you more than it bothers _me,_ Hinata-kun.”

Hinata grunted softly at that, taking a quiet snort out of Komaeda. He wiggled his toes furiously in the warm sand. “Well _of course_ it bothers me. They keep acting like you’re a heartless monster or something like that.”

Komaeda hummed, biting on his popsicle. At the distance, by the sea, Souda screeched and Mioda laughed hysterically. “To be fair, I did try to kill you all in the simulation. More than once.”

“But you didn’t, did you? And I already forgave you.” Hinata shot back, pointing at Komaeda with his own popsicle. Komaeda stared at him for a moment, then sighed and fell silent, looking away. “Besides, I already said you were not the only one. So why do they keep dwelling on that?”

“Because people deal with trauma in different ways,” Kuzuryuu said from his spot on Hinata’s other side, lying sprawled on a beach towel with sunglasses covering his eyes despite being already dark outside. “You already know that, don’t you? So stop thinking about this shit and just ignore them, for fucks sake. They’ll get over it.”

“I really don’t mind, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda said again, giggling softly at Hinata and finishing his popsicle. Once the popsicle was over, he stared at the blueish stick with a pout. “Do you think we have more? Where’s Nidai-kun?”

“He went to get the fireworks with Peko and Owari,” Kuzuryuu replied, an orange popsicle stick hanging from his mouth. “Hanamura should have more in his kitchen.”

“I think we have more here,” Hinata said, moving around to check on the cooler resting a few feet behind them. He stood, walked to the cooler and peeked inside, then pursed his lips. “Ah, we don’t. There’s only water and soda.” 

Komaeda pouted again. “Aw, what a terrible time for my bad luck to strike.”

Hinata returned to the shared towel, smothering and cleaning his yukata before sitting back down next to Komaeda. Once he was sitting down again, he looked at his half-eaten popsicle and pondered for a moment before handing it to Komaeda. “Here, you can have it.”

Komaeda arched an eyebrow. “That’s yours.”

“Yes, and it’s melting,” Hinata nodded, wiggling the popsicle. “Take it.”

“You’re giving me a half-eaten popsicle?”

 _“Yes,_ Komaeda, I’m giving you my half-eaten popsicle. Do you want it or not?”

Komaeda squinted his eyes at Hinata before reluctantly accepting the dessert. “If you’re so sure, then we can share your half-eaten popsicle, Hinata-kun.”

“That’s not what I- _ok,”_ Hinata ended up sighing, knowing it would be useless to argue with Komaeda. The white haired man giggled softly by his side, leaning over to lick on Hinata’s orange-flavored popsicle, and Hinata had to keep himself from blushing and widening his eyes when he suddenly realized that that was practically an indirect kiss. “U-um anyway, where’s Nidai with the fireworks? Why is he taking so long?”

As if he was just waiting for his cue, Nidai reappeared on the beach (the private beach, by the second island) carrying a large cardbox filled with fireworks with Owari in his track, eating two different popsicles at the same time, with a small cooler crossing her torso.

“Sorry for the delay!” Nidai shouted with his already loud voice, causing Hinata’s right eye to throb. “I had to stop at the kitchen to retrieve Akane!”

“Hanamura wouldn’t let me have other desserts so he just gave me the popsicles,” Owari mumbled with her mouth full of said popsicles. She removed the cooler stripe from her torso and placed it next to the other cooler that was already there before dropping in the towel next to Kuzuryuu, mirroring his sprawled position, now both with popsicle sticks hanging from their mouths.

“Where’s Peko?” Kuzuryuu asked with a frown, propping on his elbows to take a look around the beach for Pekoyama before dropping back on his back. She was nowhere to be seen.

Owari moved her feet in the sand, kicking some in the towel she was sharing with Kuzuryuu. “Helping Tsumiki and Hanamura with the rest of the food,” she replied, looking at the clean, starry sky. “They’ll be here in a sec.”

“And Koizumi?”

“Won’t come,” Owari replied. “She’s with Saionji.”

Hinata sighed. It was Mioda’s idea to have this small “firework/beach party” just so they could try to relax and “bond” a little more, and they all had agreed to it, but he should’ve expected that not all of them would attend –not Koizumi and Saionji, if Pekoyama or Tsumiki were present. Not on the private beach. “I see.”

“Hinata! Help me set up the fireworks!” Nidai called from where he was removing the fireworks from the cardbox to set them up. Hinata sighed again, took a bite from his popsicle and handed it to Komaeda before standing, tapping the sand away from his yukata and walking towards Nidai to help him. “Oi, Souda! C’mere you too!”

Souda looked at them for a moment, then kicked water in Mioda’s direction one last time before bouncing towards Hinata and Nidai to help them. Kuzuryuu also left his spot next to Owari on the towel to help them set up the fireworks faster. With all the four of them working together, everything was set up in no time.

Shortly after they finished preparing the fireworks, Hanamura, Tsumiki and Pekoyama returned with the food, Togami and Mitarai following closely after them. Sonia and Tanaka soon joined them, having returned from their night walk, and Mioda left the ocean in order to pick up some food. After picking some food for himself (and enough for Komaeda to steal from his plate, because he _knew_ he was going to do it), Hinata returned to his previous spot next to Komaeda’s side and sat back down, placing his plate and two glasses of juice between the both of them; then, he took a look around the beach to count his friends. Fourteen. Sure enough, only Saionji and Koizumi were missing. He couldn’t help but sigh sadly at this –it would take a while for all of them to be sharing the same space comfortably.

Komaeda, noticing his distress, pushed him slightly with his shoulder, a chicken wing hanging from his mouth. _Hinata’s_ chicken wing. “Just give them time to heal, Hinata-kun. They’ll get over it sooner or later.”

Hinata held Komaeda stare for a moment, then sighed again and let his face drop. He picked another chicken wing from his (now shared) plate and quietly ate it, absently listening to his friends conversations –Mioda enthusiastically infodumping Souda, Mitarai, Togami and a slightly anxious Tsumiki about music, Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama quietly chatting and eating together by Hinata’s other side, Nidai laughing at Owari trying to shove as much food as possible into her mouth and at a very, _very_ distressed Hanamura, Sonia and Tanaka feeding Tanaka’s hamsters with sunflower seeds. Above them, hanging around on makeshift posts, pale and colored fairy lights illuminated the beach. A few feet ahead, a small campfire, despite being hot outside. Several beach towels were scattered around the sand for people to sit on it if they wanted. Soft giggles echoed around the beach with the soft crashing waves and the faint sound of crickets chirping. The ocean breeze blew gently, pleasantly cool, and the stars shimmered brightly in the sky with the pale full moon.

When Nidai lit the fireworks, everyone moved closer to watch them burn in the clean, navy blue sky together. Hinata saw, through his peripheral vision, Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama moving closer until their shoulders were pressed together. Owari hung on Nidai’s arm as he lit the fireworks and laughed happily with Hanamura, Mioda bouncing with every firework that lit up in the sky, clinging to both Tsumiki’s and Togami’s arms, Mitarai pressed against Togami’s other side, Souda making small talk with Sonia and Tanaka as they watched the fireworks together.

Timidly, knowingly or not, he felt Komaeda moving slightly closer to him without looking away from the fireworks, almost involuntarily, like he was gravitating towards Hinata. His right hand rested in the towel beneath them parallel to Hinata’s own hand, their pinkies brushing slightly and shyly, almost like they wanted to intertwine on their own, almost like they were daring their owners to complete that action for them.

It was Komaeda who did it, after a minute or two in silence, shyly sliding his pinky over Hinata’s and softly hooking them together. The fireworks lit up the sky, their friends chatted and laughed happily around them.

Oddly enough, Hinata didn’t feel like pulling his hand away.  
  


* * *

 _  
He was floating. Floating? Where was he floating? _ Why _was he floating? Why was this place so cold?_

_Why can’t he see his whereabouts?_

_Why can’t he scream for help?_

_Whose hands are these that hold his neck and keep him from breathing? Whose eyes are those that flare crimson in the never-ending darkness?_

_He gasps for air, and suddenly he’s falling, falling, falling, and then he’s underwater, and then he’s drowning, drowning, drowning._

_He doesn’t take the hands that reach out for him.  
  
_

* * *

  
It’s always hot on Jabberwock Island.

It didn’t help that he often woke up soaked in sweat because of his nightmares.

 ****** He snapped his eyes open as soon as he regained consciousness, gasping for air, clutching his chest over his soaked shirt. His head throbbed and his throat ached, dry, making it difficult to breathe –Jabberwock Island, right? He was on Jabberwock Island, in his cottage, on his bed, not at a hospital, not drowning in the ocean, not falling into an endless dark pit. His name is Hinata Hajime, he’s twenty-two years old, and he’s alive. He’s alive.

 _Alive?_ How is he alive? How could he- ******

 _“Calm down, Hinata.”_ Said that faint, oddly familiar voice in the back of his head, concerned, yet surprisingly calm and collected. _“Look around, and list out loud five things you can see.”_

Hinata took a deep breath, staring at the white ceiling of his room with widened eyes as he waited for his heartbeat to calm down. After a moment, he did as the voice said.

“T-the bookshelf,” he started, voice weak and low and wheezy. “The succulent plant Koizumi gave me, the wardrobe, t-the lamp, the door.”

_“Where are you?”_

“My cottage,” Hinata answered, still confused as to why he was talking to himself like that, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. “Jabberwock Island.”

 _“Good,”_ said the voice again. _“You had a nightmare.”_

“Nightmare,” Hinata repeated out loud, still breathless, still confused. “Nightmare,” he said once more, just to be sure, then ran his fingers through his messy hair, biting his lips. _“Fuck.”_

In a haze, with his eyes still slightly fogged because of his nightmare, Hinata glanced at the clock on the bedside table (a Minimaru, courtesy of Souda. He made one for everyone, including Nidai) to check the time; 2:18am. A long way until the sun rose.

He rolled on his back, pulled the sheets up and closed his eyes, praying for the dreamland to claim him once more. He counted sheep, sang lullabies to himself, tried to imagine _someone else_ lullabying him, but nothing worked.

It took him thirty minutes and several attempts to fall back asleep for him to finally give up on sleeping that night.

Sighing, he untangled himself from the sheets and stood, stretching and yawning before going to his bathroom for a quick shower. He slowly undressed, turned the faucet on and stood under the shower as the water started flowing, hissing when the cold water hit his burning hot skin, hoping he wouldn’t get a thermal shock. Then, he dressed up in comfortable clothes, unlocked his door and left his room for a night walk.

Like this, so late at night and with everyone else sleeping, it looked like he was the only one on the island. The lights of every cottage were off, just like the lights of the hotel and the pool, and the only source of light was the pale gleam of the moon shining brightly in the clean night sky full of tiny flickering stars. Hinata went to the hotel restaurant to grab a bottle of water, sipped it whole in just one gulp, and then left the hotel for an aimless walk in order to relax a little so he could go back to sleep.

As he walked around the islands, alone and quietly, he couldn’t help but notice how seeing the island so empty and silent was such an odd experience.

It was just that he grew so used to the island so full of life (that is, as full of life as six islands carrying a total of sixteen inhabitants could be), with people cheerfully talking around him all the time and having at least one of his classmates around no matter which island he was visiting, that seeing the islands empty and silent like that was simply strange. Although Hinata considered himself to be an introverted, quite reserved person, he grew used to Owari’s and Nidai’s loud voices and personalities, to Kuzuryuu’s outbursts, to Komaeda’s breathy laugh, to Koizumi’s bossy voice. It was just weird to walk around the beach and not hear Mioda’s hysterical laugh and Souda’s distressed yelps as she kicked cold water at him, or walk around the music venue and not hear music coming from the stage because Saionji was not practicing.

It didn’t feel quite right for the islands to be so empty.

He ended up going to the private beach by the second island, because the waves there didn’t crash as violently as they did on the other beaches, and because there weren’t many palm trees to obscure his vision of the night sky. He walked through the shore barefoot and slowly, facing the stars above him, feeling the cold waves gently enveloping his ankles as he walked and quietly hummed a song under his breath –the endless ocean and the crickets sang along, hidden on the tall palm trees, silently watching each one of his steps.

As he reached the end of the beach and consequently the shore, Hinata turned on his heels and retraced the same way back to the entrance of the beach, still walking barefoot on the shore, until he stopped middleways in order to lie down in the sand and face the stars, the crashing waves just barely missing his bare feet. The stars faced back at him.

He spread his arms and legs in the sand and looked up at the stars, counting the tiny shimmering dots scattered all around the endless navy blue sky without clouds as if he wished for them to lullaby him to sleep. The moon silently watched him count the stars, the ocean silently encouraged him to do so –one, two, ten, fifty, a hundred.

It wasn’t until he heard the muffled steps coming towards him that he realized he somehow had closed his eyes while counting stars, losing count around two hundred.

When Hinata opened his eyes, he was met with the sight of Komaeda quietly hovering him, with his head eclipsing the moon and his mane of hair shining a pale white with the moonlight, like a halo, like an angel, with a small smile on his lips and fond look in his eyes. Squinting his eyes, Hinata extended his hand towards the moon. Towards Komaeda.

The moon, in his turn, extended his own hand out and enlaced their fingers together.

“What are you doing here?” Hinata asked, eyes still squinted towards Komaeda, suspiciously. He did not, however, untangle their fingers; instead, he squeezed them softly.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Hinata sighed, only half-lying, allowing his extended arm to drop and consequently bringing Komaeda’s down as well. Komaeda took that as an invitation to sit by his side, untangling their fingers and then holding his legs to his chest, leaving Hinata’s arm to drop over his chest. “You?”

“Same thing,” Komaeda murmured, chin resting on his knees. “Although I must say, Hinata-kun, I don’t think it’s safe to fall asleep outside and be left vulnerable like this.”

“Was not sleeping,” Hinata grunted, rubbing his eyes to rub away the sleepiness. “How did you even find me, anyway? Were you looking for me?”

“I was not,” Komaeda shook his head negatively, looking up towards the flickering stars, then let his body drop backwards and laid down in the sand next to Hinata with his arms spread like his. “Woke up because of a, uh… _Bad dream,_ then decided to go for a walk.”

Hinata arched an eyebrow. “And you just coincidentally ran into me?”

Through his peripheral vision, Hinata saw Komaeda’s lips twirl up in a smug smile. “You could say it was a… Ah, how did you call it when you found me in the castle when we arrived on the island again? “Lucky guess”?”

“Okay, no need to be sassy,” Hinata grunted again, taking a soft snort out of Komaeda. He shuffled in the sand, sighed out loud and then let the hand over his stomach fall on his side, accidentally hitting Komaeda’s one as he did so, but if Komaeda minded, he didn’t say so; just moved his hand away from Hinata’s until only their pinkies were touching, much like that day with the fireworks. Hinata cleared his throat. “Um, bad dream, you say? Wanna, uh… Talk about it?”

“Only if you talk about yours,” Komaeda replied, not looking at Hinata, but with a small smile on his lips.

Hinata closed his mouth audibly. “I did not have a bad dream.”

“It’s quite okay, Hinata-kun. You don’t need to be embarrassed because you had a nightmare and couldn’t sleep afterwards. I’m positive everyone here has nightmares sometimes. It’s natural.”

“I’m not embarrassed,” Hinata half grunted, half hissed, using his free hand to comb his badly cut hair and brush the uneven fringe away from his eyes. “It’s just… It’s nothing.”

Komaeda was silent for a moment, with his lips pressed in a thin line, then hummed. “Ah, I understand. If I were you, I also wouldn’t want to share my nightmares with worthless trash like-”

“It’s not that!” Hinata quickly interrupted him, slightly annoyed, moving to squeeze Komaeda’s hand next to his. Then, he bit his lips and ran his fingers through his uneven hair again, and Komaeda squeezed their joined hands softly to encourage him, to show him he was listening. “It’s just… Nothing. Actually nothing. I don’t have vivid nightmares, it’s just me floating in a dark space unable to breathe.”

“Ah,” Komaeda said, relaxing in the sand. He moved his hand higher where his and Hinata’s hands were joined, hooking two of his fingers with his and giving another soft squeeze; once again, Hinata didn’t feel like pulling his hand away. “Sometimes I have nightmares like this as well, dreams where I’m unable to breathe. It’s always troublesome to wake up.”

Hinata hummed in agreement, closing his eyes when his eyelids started to become heavier. He purposefully left the part about the crimson eyes out, somehow knowing it would hurt Komaeda to know.

“What about yours?” Hinata asked instead of keeping talking about his nightmare, eyes still closed and humming a song under his breath. “Your nightmare.”

Hinata expected Komaeda to stiffen, to freeze and flinch, like most people do when talking about nightmares, but he did not.

Instead, Komaeda started giggling.

“Chains and demons and evil kids,” is what he answered through his giggles.

Hinata opened an eye to shoot a doubtful look at Komaeda. “Evil kids?”

Komaeda giggled again. “The meanest of them all.”

“How evil can kids be?”

“Hinata-kun, you have no idea.”

Hinata scoffed playfully. “Also, chains and demons? Now I feel kinda dumb for having nightmares about literally nothing.”

Slowly, Komaeda’s gigglings faded, until he only had a sad smile on his lips and a sorrowful expression in his eyes. “Abandonment, too. And betrayal.”

Hinata blinked, surprised at the sudden twist in the heaviness of the subject. He moved around in the sand until he was lying on his side, facing Komaeda’s face, their ring fingers and pinkies still hooked together. “What?”

Komaeda blinked away the glassy look in his eyes, looking surprised that he said something out loud. “Ah, did I say that out loud? Do forgive me, Hinata-kun. I didn’t mean to.”

“Komaeda-”

Komaeda didn’t let him finish his sentence, just started waving his free hand in a dismissing way and smiling warmly. Hinata knew it was forced.

“It’s okay, Hinata-kun. Don’t mind me,” Komaeda said with his warm smile still present on his lips, not looking at Hinata, but at the navy blue sky full of glimmering stars above them. The moon had moved a little during the time they spent talking, now starting to move towards the horizon for the sun to rise, although the sun hadn’t yet shown signs of being about to rise; if Hinata had to estimate the time, it would be around 4:10am. “It’s getting late. Do you want to head back to the cottages?”

Hinata held Komaeda’s stare for a moment when he turned around to look at him, then looked towards the lull ocean, and then towards the glimmering stars.

“I think- I think I’ll stay here for a while more,” Hinata replied, rolling back on his back and spreading his free arm, looking towards the sky. “You can head back if you want. I’ll be there in a sec.”

Komaeda hummed in agreement, but did not move away from Hinata to head back to the cottages, no; instead, he adjusted his back in the sand to mirror Hinata’s and quietly squeezed their ring fingers and pinkies still hooked together.

When Hinata gave him a look, Komaeda smiled. “Like I said,” he said, “it’s dangerous to be outside alone.”

Hinata held his stare for another moment, then snorted softly and squeezed their fingers back, looking back at the sky. With his free hand, he pointed at a particular bright star.

“Orion,” he said, moving his finger in the air for Komaeda to follow where he was pointing at. Once Komaeda hummed in agreement, he moved to the next. “Gemini. Ursa Major. Pegasus. Leo.”

He spent the rest of the night pointing at stars and constellations and naming each one of them for Komaeda, until he felt the grip on his fingers soften, the unsteady, wheezy breath settling down, and the soft and constant humming fade away. Glancing at his side, Hinata confirmed that Komaeda had fallen asleep, his white lashes flickering in his sleep and breathing coming out in soft puffs through his half-opened lips. He looked so peaceful like this, almost angelic, and Hinata had to remember himself that this Komaeda sleeping peacefully next to him was the same Komaeda who bombed down the hotel lobby and tried to kill everyone in the simulation, who _killed himself_ in that gruesome way in the simulation, who _offered assistance in his own murder_ in case anyone wanted to off him. The same Komaeda who sawed his own arm off and sewed someone else’s in its place.

(The same Komaeda who told him he was “in love with the hope that slept inside of him”, whatever that meant. The same Komaeda who gave him mixed feelings.)

Hinata felt like he should probably wake up Komaeda so they could return to their cottages before the sun rose, felt like it wasn’t safe to sleep outside like that. Instead, he felt his eyelids getting heavier and heavier.

He let the crashing waves and Komaeda’s steady breath lullaby him to sleep. The ocean, the moon and the stars would watch out for them.  
  


**-x-x-x-  
  
**

(They woke up many, many hours later, when the sun was already high up in the sky and the heat was already way too strong for comfort, with their limbs tangled together, Komaeda’s head on his chest and an arm around his waist. It was Mioda who found them, screeching loudly about how she thought they were dead lying like that in the sand. Koizumi scolded them once they went back to the hotel, saying they shouldn’t disappear like that because the others got worried when they didn’t show up for breakfast.

Komaeda was laughing in a carefree way the entire time.)  
  


* * *

  
It’s always hot on Jabberwock Island.

It was quite a surprise when Hinata found out that the movie theater on the third island was one of the most chilly places of the island.

He’d heard some of the others talking about it before (mostly Mioda, Saionji, Togami and Mitarai, who spent most of their time around that island), but Hinata never felt like checking on it by himself –he simply didn’t have a reason to go to the theater, so he trusted what his classmates told him about it and let it be. If one day he had to check on it to fix something, then he would, but while this day didn’t come, he would trust Mitarai and Togami to take care of the theater.

Which led back to his surprise when he stepped into the theater and the cool air-conditioning air hit his uncomfortably hot skin.

“If I knew the air-conditioning here was stronger than the ones in our cottages, I would have moved here long ago,” he mentioned to Togami as they walked together into the theater lobby, stopping by the food counter for Togami to get some snacks for them and their companions who were probably inside the auditorium already.

Togami giggled. “Ryouta spends a lot of time locked up here working on his animations,” they said, picking up four cans of soda and one small and two large popcorn. “I figured it would not be healthy to be locked in a place without air conditioning for so long, so I asked Souda to fix the air here. Ryouta often neglects his own welfare in order to finish his work in time.”

Hinata nodded, then picked up a soda can for himself and followed Togami as they turned on their heels to go to the auditorium. “Which is why you called us here, I suppose?”

“Indeed,” Togami nodded, muttering a thanks when Hinata held the auditorium door open for them to walk through. “Ryouta just finished an animation and wanted to screen it for us, so he asked me to call everyone here. Ibuki and Mikan are probably already waiting inside.” Hinata nodded once again, then followed Togami inside the auditorium.

Just like they said, Mioda and Tsumiki were already there, sitting together in the back rows and happily chatting together (with Mioda doing most of the talk and Tsumiki just nodding feverishly at everything the girl said, of course). Souda sat in the rows behind them, leaning over Mioda’s seat to chat with the girls while Sonia and Tanaka sat together by his side, quietly chatting among themselves, Tanaka’s hamsters sleeping on Sonia’s lap. Kuzuryuu, Pekoyama, Nidai, Owari, Komaeda, Hanamura, Saionji and Koizumi were still not there.

Tapping his elbow to get his attention, Togami pointed with their pack of cans towards Mioda and Tsumiki when Hinata turned to look at them. “I’m giving them this and then bringing the rest to Ryouta in the projector booth. You can go ahead and take a seat.”

“Okay, thank you,” Hinata nodded, then watched Togami give the girls the two large popcorn and three of the soda cans, bringing the remaining ones to the projector booth adjacent to the auditorium.

Studying his options and trusting his judgement based on his several talents, Hinata opted for the middle rows –away from the couples (because Tanaka and Sonia were a couple, whether Souda liked it or not), away from the loud people (because watching a movie sitting next to Souda and Mioda was probably a nightmare) and not too close or too far from the screen (middle rows are always the best rows, his _Super High School Level Movie Director_ talent screamed in the back of his head). He picked a seat right in the middle of the auditorium, opening his soda and taking a sip from it as he waited for the others to arrive and the movie to start.

Judging by the loud fuss and loud laughter in the back of the auditorium, Nidai and Owari were the next ones to arrive, Hanamura following in their track. Once again judging by the loud laughter, they all took a seat next to Souda and Mioda, but Hinata didn’t turn around to check.

“Do they not know you’re supposed to be quiet in a cinema? For fucks sake.”

Upon hearing voices so closely, Hinata looked from over his shoulders at the pair taking their seats in the row behind his.

“It’s Nidai, Owari, Souda and Mioda,” Hinata said as Pekoyama accommodated herself and Kuzuryuu grunted. “What did you expect?” 

“Some decency, is what I expected,” Kuzuryuu grunted again, crossing his arms over his chest with a grumpy expression. Pekoyama snorted softly by his side, holding a small popcorn bucket in her elegant hands. “If they don’t shut the fuck up when the movie starts I’m legally allowed to beat the shit out of them,” he angrily said, then kicked the back of Hinata’s seat. “I’m also legally allowed to rip your fucking antenna off if it gets in the way during the movie. Seriously, what the fuck is up with this ugly haircut? Don’t you have a _Super High School Level Hair Stylist_ talent or some shit?”

Unconsciously, Hinata moved to tap his “antenna” down a couple of times, feeling the way it would pop back up not a second later. “...” he pressed his lips together, “I don’t think there’s much I can do about that.”

Kuzuryuu humphed, seemingly angry, but Hinata could see the trace of a smile threatening to form at the corner of his lips. “You’ve been warned.”

Hinata nodded, biting up a smile, before turning back around to face the still blank screen. He sipped from his soda again and relaxed on his seat as Pekoyama and Kuzuryuu started chatting quietly behind him.

“Ah, apologies for my presumptuousness,” said a new voice suddenly to his right. “But may I sit with you? It’s quieter here.”

Hinata blinked away from the screen to Komaeda standing awkwardly by his side, holding a medium popcorn bucket and a bottle of water.

“Uh,” Hinata blinked. “Sure?”

Komaeda smiled at him, apologizing again as he sat down in the free seat on Hinata’s right.

“Here,” Komaeda said once he accommodated himself in the seat, handing Hinata the popcorn bucket. “You shared your popsicle last time, so now I’m sharing my popcorn.”

Behind them, Kuzuryuu scoffed. _“Smooth.”_

Hinata ignored him. “I mean, if you’re sure,” he shrugged, then accepted the bucket and placed it at the armrest between them, taking a handful of popcorn and shoving it into his mouth. Komaeda watched him do that with an awkward smile on his lips and a weird expression in his eyes, like he was not expecting him to do that.

Behind them, Kuzuryuu scoffed again. “Super High School Level _Popcorn Eater_ or Super High School Level _Mood Breaker_ talent?” he whispered, probably leaning over to whisper to Pekoyama, but Hinata heard it anyway. He shot him a look from over his shoulder, Kuzuryuu gave him his middle finger and chuckled.

Hinata opened his mouth to rebuke him, but the words died in his mouth as he caught something in his peripheral vision. Something that he didn’t think he would see anytime soon.

Saionji and Koizumi walking down the middle aisle, towards the front rows of the auditorium, hand in hand.

Of course, neither Saionji nor Koizumi looked at Pekoyama and Kuzuryuu as they walked down the aisle, and Hinata could practically _feel_ Pekoyama and Kuzuryuu freezing behind him as soon as they saw them, but he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the girls.

Because for the first time in almost three months since they arrived on the island, the entire class was present for an activity.

He almost missed the way the already dim lights became even dimmer until they completely faded and the screen lit up with some trailers before the start of Mitarai’s movie. He also almost missed the way Souda moved from the back rows to sit by Kuzuryuu’s free side.

“What the fuck?” Kuzuryuu hissed, moving away from Souda as if he was radioactive. “I already sat here to stay away from your loud ass, what the fuck are you doing here?”

Souda whined like a stray dog, pulling his beanie down until it covered his eyes. Then, he pointed with his thumb to where he was previously sitting. “I’m tired of third-wheeling.”

Hinata moved to look at the back rows, where Sonia had moved to lay her head on Tanaka’s shoulder, Nidai had an arm over Owari’s shoulders as they both talked with Hanamura and Mioda kept moving to whisper to both Togami and Tsumiki simultaneously. Then, Hinata looked back at Souda with arched eyebrows.

“So you decided to come and third-wheel them instead?” He said, pointing at Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama with his chin. Souda whimpered again, but didn’t move to walk away from them, just brought his legs up and hugged them to his chest.

“They’re not loud like the others,” he said, resting his chin on his knees. “C’mon man, let me stay here. I won’t bother you. I won’t interrupt your double date. Just ignore me.”

At the mention of a double date, Komaeda immediately choked on his popcorn and started coughing while Kuzuryuu instantly started hissing.

“Shut up,” he said through gritted teeth. “Let them be.”

“Sorry!”

“While I do appreciate your friendship, I’m afraid the movie is starting,” Pekoyama intervened with her calm, cool voice, making both Kuzuryuu and Souda instantly fall silent.

Hinata sighed in relief, then looked away from Souda to the screen when the trailers ended and the actual movie began, a neat animation of a boy lying on his stomach next to a river, with beautiful kaleidoscopic eyes and silver hair just as badly cut as Hinata’s.

“Look, Hinata,” Kuzuryuu poked his head from behind, snorting. Hinata knew what was coming. “He has your haircut.”

Hinata hissed, pretending to be mad. “Shut up. That is not true.”

“Shit, you’re right,” Kuzuryuu laughed. “Yours is way shittier.”

“Ah, I think Hinata-kun’s haircut is charming,” Komaeda suddenly joined the conversation after a long time in silence, smiling quietly, sipping from his soda. Hinata’s warm smile instantly gave place to an expression of pure shock, eyes widening at Komaeda’s words as he stared at the man –and Komaeda, still not satisfied with his reaction, still moved to touch the slightly longer strand of hair on the left side of Hinata’s head. “See? The white streak, the choppy cut, the tips slightly darker than the roots. It’s charming. It’s... Not boring.”

Hinata stared at Komaeda with widened eyes for a while longer, until he felt his cheeks starting to burn and had to break eye contact. He stared at the movie screen still with widened eyes, his face burning red and jaw clenched. His heart beated fast inside his chest.

Fortunately, Kuzuryuu took pity on him and stopped teasing him after that, what gave him the opportunity to stare at the screen and actually _watch_ the animation movie Mitarai made. It was, as already expected from the _Super High School Level Animator,_ an astonishingly stunning work, simply out of this world, exceptional in all meanings of the world. Hinata found himself mesmerized by the fluidity of movements in every single frame, the colors, the storyline and the characters. More than once, he felt the urge to cry with how beautiful the characters’ stories and designs were.

His attention was only dragged away from the movie when it was already in the middle, by the sound of someone behind him opening a package of sweets.

He blinked away from the screen to look at the source of the noise. Souda, holding a small brown package and picking tiny colored balls from it.

“Are those M&M’s?” Hinata asked Souda in a whisper. Souda nodded. “Give me some.”

Souda nodded again, then reached for a closed package in his pockets and handed it to Hinata. Hinata extended his arm across the back of Komaeda’s seat to grab the package, stretching his arm as far as possible, and...

… And Komaeda saw this as the perfect opportunity to move closer to Hinata and rest his head on his shoulder.

Hinata instantly froze, almost letting the M&M’s package drop with the sudden turn of events, widening his eyes once again and once again feeling his cheeks warming up.

“Oho?” Kuzuryuu snorted. _“That’s_ smooth.”

“U-um, Komaeda?” Hinata called in a whisper, jaw clenched and cheeks burning hot. When Komaeda hummed and tilted his head slightly up to stare at him, Hinata gripped the M&M’s package so strongly that it almost bursted.

He was too close. Komaeda’s face was way too close for comfort. With the screen light hitting his thin hair like that, his white strands seemed to almost glow in the dark, like a beacon, like an angel’s halo. His eyes also seemed to glow in the dark, reflecting the scenes on the big screen, pastel green-greyish, intense and deep yet incredibly fond. His skin was almost ghost-pale and faint and tiny dots were scattered all around his nose and parts of his cheekbones.

Freckles. Komaeda had _freckles,_ how did Hinata never notice it before? 

(He didn’t have as many freckles as Hinata, but they were still there –faint, little constellations spread around his face, like cosmic dust. _If Komaeda was the moon,_ Hinata thought, _then those were the stars.)_

The words died in his mouth before the sentence was even formed on his brain.

He held Komaeda’s curious stare for a while longer, then sighed under his breath and bit his lip. “...Nothing,” he said, figuring Komaeda was still waiting for him to say something. Then, he adjusted himself in his seat and threw the package he was holding from the hand on the back of Komaeda’s seat to his free hand. “Can you open it for us?”

Komaeda hummed, opening the package for them and leaving it open on Hinata’s lap.

“Thank you,” Hinata said, then moved the arm from the back of Komaeda’s seat to _actually_ rest it around his shoulders, feeling his heart skip a beat and his face burning hot when Komaeda snuggled more comfortably against his shoulder and moved even closer to him. His shampoo smelled like chocolate. The white strands were as soft as they looked like.

Hinata allowed the sweet scent of Komaeda’s shampoo and the man’s quiet hum drive him back to his original state as they focused their attention back to the movie, and as he rested his face on the top of the wild white mane and felt the way Komaeda moved his hand up to play with Hinata’s fingers limply hanging from his shoulder, Hinata couldn’t help but think about how fucked he was.  
  


**-x-x-x-  
  
**

(Once the movie was over, they left the theater side by side, closer than normal, with their pinkies hooked together. If anyone saw anything, no one said anything.)  
  


* * *

“I think I… I think I might like Komaeda.”

Carefully, Hinata studied his friends’ reactions. Sonia almost choked on her tea, Souda whimpered and pulled his beanie down until it covered his eyes, Owari hummed something indistinct because of the several cookies she had shoved into her mouth.

Kuzuryuu ‘tch’ed loudly and scoffed afterwards, resting his feet over the tea table.

“Congratulations, you’re officially the last one to fucking know it.”

And Hinata gasped loudly, choking on his tea.

It’s always hot on Jabberwock Island, to the point it’s almost unbearable at times, but at that moment his cheeks burned twice as hot.

_“W-what?!”_

“I said,” Kuzuryuu said, removing his feet from the tea table and leaning towards Hinata to stare him in the eyes. “Congratulations, you’re officially the last one to know it.”

“What does that mean?!”

“It means,” Sonia replied, just as calm and elegant as always, resting her cup on the saucer. “We were all aware of your fondness towards Komaeda-san, Hinata-san.”

“But I literally _just_ found out about it!” Hinata said, exasperated. “I’m still not even _sure_ if I do like him!”

“How the- how the _hell_ are you not sure of that?” Kuzuryuu grunted, throwing his arms up just as exasperatedly as Hinata before violently sipping from his tea. His scowl would look threatening if he was not wearing a pink hawaiian shirt and holding his pastel purple cup with his pinky lifted. 

“To be fair, if I may intervene,” Sonia intervened again, hands carefully holding her saucer in her lap. “If someone here was to fall for someone and not notice it, it would be Hinata-san.”

Hinata turned around to give Sonia a look. “Are you seriously calling me _dumb?”_

“She’s certainly ain’t callin’ you smart,” Owari laughed from her seat next to Souda, drinking coffee straight from the carafe.

“Dude, I may not be the smartest person on the island, but we all remember the despair disease in the simulation,” Souda said, laughing along with Owari since now was apparently ‘Roasting Hinata Time’, taking the carafe from her and also drinking straight from it.

“Holy shit, I just remembered something. What disease did Komaeda have again? Affectionate disease?”

“Liar disease,” Sonia and Souda replied at the same time. Souda smiled openly at her, and she smiled quietly back at him.

“Yeah, that,” Kuzuryuu snorted. “So Tsumiki fucking told me Komaeda said to Hinata ‘get away from me, I hate you, I don’t wanna be in the same room as you’ a couple of times while having the liar disease and Hinata just fucking _did it._ When Komaeda meant the _contrary.”_

Hinata blinked, then squinted his eyes. “The contra- _ah.”_

“Hey, Hinata,” Owari called, still laughing deeply along with Souda. “What’s an octagon again?”

Kuzuryuu bursted out laughing, throwing his head backwards to laugh even deeper and louder. “Holy _shit-”_

“Okay, enough, enough!” Hinata grunted, pressing the bridge of his nose. But although embarrassed, he was not mad –it was good seeing his friends laughing in such a carefree way, even though _he_ was the reason they were laughing in the first place. “I told you about my supposed interest in Komaeda because I wanted to hear your _opinions_ about it, not because I wanted you to _roast_ me!”

“Okay, _shit,_ sorry. Fuck, it’s just-” Kuzuryuu said through laughter, holding his chest and looking towards the sky as he waited for the laughter to die. Once it eventually did, he finished his tea in one sit, taking a deep breath afterwards. _“Fuck,_ it’s been a while since I last laughed like this.”

Hinata sighed and grumbled, pretending to be mad, but the faint smile on his lips gave him away. “Can we go back to the original subject now?”

“Yeah, sure,” Kuzuryuu replied, running his fingers through his hair. It was starting to grow longer now, much like everyone else’s –longer than it ever was in the simulation, long enough for some curls to start forming on his forehead. “Okay so back to your obvious crush on Komaeda which everyone was aware of but you. What about it?”

Hinata bit his lip, looking down at his lap and playing with the longer strand of his hair on the left side of his head. He twirled the long strand absently between his fingers. “Are you, um… Are you mad?”

Everyone blinked in unisson, apparently not expecting him to ask that. “Mad?” It was Sonia who asked out loud.

“Yeah,” Hinata nodded. “Are you mad because it’s Komaeda?”

“Why the hell would we be mad?”

“I don’t know, it’s just… Komaeda isn’t exactly the most popular guy on the island, is he? Never was.”

Sonia arched her eyebrows. “Are you concerned about what others will think about _your_ feelings?”

“Of course not,” Hinata shook his head. “My feelings are mine to keep. But Komaeda is someone who thinks very poorly about himself. If he finds out people think I should not be with someone like him, he would simply start avoiding me because I ‘deserve something better’.”

Kuzuryuu smirked. “So you _do_ admit you have a crush on him?”

 _“I do not,”_ Hinata insisted, because he was not even entirely sure about it himself. He felt… _Something,_ towards Komaeda. But it was hard to put a name to the feeling. “It’s a _hypothesis._ So _hypothetically,_ if I were to have something with Komaeda, would you guys mind?”

“Look, Hinata,” Kuzuryuu said, leaning forward on his seat to rest his elbows on his knees. Once Hinata looked at him, he pointed at himself. “I’m not the biggest fan of the guy, but listen: I’m dating Peko, who killed Koizumi in the simulation. _She,”_ he then pointed at Sonia, “is dating the guy who killed _her-”_ and then at Owari, _“... Something,_ in the simulation.” He then pointed flatly at Souda. _“Souda,”_ and turned to look back at Hinata, ignoring Souda’s yelps about how the last part was not necessary. “Now which one of us has the moral to judge you by your future choice of significant other?”

Hinata considered this for a moment. “So you do not mind?”

“Of course not. Jesus.”

“At least not the four of us,” Sonia complemented Kuzuryuu. “I’m positive Pekoyama-san would not mind as well.”

“She wouldn’t.”

Hinata sighed in relief, a sigh he did not notice he was holding. “Okay, good. _Fuck,_ ok.”

Owari hummed. “I don’t think the others will say something either. Remember Towa City? No one dared to bat an eye towards you and Komaeda.”

Suddenly, Kuzuryuu’s relaxed face gave place to a concerned one, and he uncrossed his legs to lean forward on his seat again. _“Owari.”_

“What? It’s true,” Owari said, picking a cookie from the table and breaking it in half to give half of it to Souda. “I mean, it wasn’t _you,_ but Kamukura-sama and Komaeda were together all the time and no one-”

“Owari,” Kuzuryuu repeated in the same rough voice as before. “Stop.”

“No, no. Let her speak,” Hinata said, curiously, leaning forward on his seat and looking towards Owari. “This is about Towa City, yes? And Kamukura?” he then made a pause, frowned slightly. “I don’t- I don’t have any memories of it. Of the time I spent as Kamukura.”

Kuzuryuu gave him a measured look, his lips pressed in a thin line. “Have you asked Komaeda about Towa City yet?” Hinata shook his head negatively. “Then ask him about it. If he’s not ready to talk about it, then wait until he is. It’s not our place to talk about it.”

Hinata held Kuzuryuu’s stare for a moment, then sighed in defeat. Towa City, huh? For some reason, he felt like he should prepare himself for the story, because it wasn’t gonna be something good –if Komaeda didn’t talk about Towa City, was because something happened there. Something bad. Something that hurted him up until these days.

 _“Some things are better left unsaid,”_ said that already familiar, faint voice in the back of his head, soothing, welcoming. _Way_ too familiar for comfort –that was his voice, yes? His conscience? Then why did it feel so… Odd, alien, like he was talking to himself through a phone call? _“But I do think you should ask him about it.”_

Hinata frowned and squinted his eyes at himself. Why the hell was he talking to himself like that? He was spending way too much time around Mioda.

He spent a couple more minutes talking to the others, listening to Kuzuryuu and Souda bickering, Owari’s loud laughter and Sonia’s calm voice, until they had to part ways when Pekoyama came over to say Tanaka was looking for Sonia. After saying goodbye and parting ways, Hinata was left alone in the beach house of the second island with his oppressive thoughts and overwhelming feelings.

Judging by the sun on the horizon, it was around 4pm, so there was still a long time before the sun started to set on the horizon.

Komaeda. He needed to have a talk with Komaeda. Where was Komaeda now?

 _“There’s a chance his luck made him listen to your conversation with the others,”_ the voice returned to the back of his head, so familiar, so _painfully familiar. “He should be waiting for you at the castle on the fourth island, in one of the highest towers again.”_

Hinata found himself immediately nodding at the voice, still half-convinced it was only his own conscience talking to him, until realization finally hit him and made him abruptly stop in the middle of his track.

The- the reason why the voice always felt so familiar was because...

“Kamukura!?”

The voice, now with a name attached to it, seemed to hum in amusement. _“Took you long enough.”_

“What the hell?!” Hinata shouted. “It was you this entire time?!”

 _“Indeed,”_ Kamukura replied. Now that Hinata was aware about his presence, his voice seemed louder and clearer, like he was no longer listening to it through a puddle of water. _“Although I must admit, it took longer than I expected for you to acknowledge my presence.”_

Hinata frowned, eyes slightly glassy as he resumed his walk towards the fourth island. He honestly hoped this didn’t give him a headache later. “I always- I always _knew_ you were there, somewhere. But I didn’t expect you to be, uh… _Conscious,_ while I’m also conscious?”

Kamukura hummed. _“We are two distinct individuals sharing the same body. A day where we would both coexist consciously simultaneously was bound to happen.”_

Hinata hummed in agreement, slowly crossing the bridge towards the fourth island. He waved at Hanamura when he passed by him. “But this didn’t happen back when you had the control of my body, did it? I don’t remember something like this ever happening.”

 _“It did not,”_ Kamukura said. _“Back then, I was not aware of your existence. You were asleep the entire time, and I have never felt your presence in the back of my mind like you feel mine.”_

“I see,” Hinata nodded, stepping silently on the stone ground of the fourth island. As he started walking towards the castle, he passed Tanaka and Mioda. He waved at them as well. “This makes me wonder; if we are both conscious now, does that mean you could just take control of my body if you wanted?”

_“If you and I both agreed to it, perhaps.”_

“If we _both_ agreed? Couldn’t you just take it whenever you wanted?”

 _“Likely not,”_ Kamukura replied. _“But even if I could, I would not.”_

“Why?”

_“If we are bound to spend the rest of our lives together, I would prefer that we spent it comfortable around each other. I do not wish to make you uncomfortable.”_

“Ah,” Hinata said, feeling one of his many worries dissolving in the back of his head. “Thank you.”

 _“You do not need to thank me,”_ Kamukura said, then fell silent as Hinata crossed the remaining path towards the castle, his presence fading in the back of his mind like a thin fabric was put between them. When they arrived, Kamukura returned, the thin fabric disappearing and his presence once again recognizable. Strange, odd, but somewhat comfortable and reassuring. _“Third tower from left to right. Nagito is sitting on the roof.”_

Hinata found himself automatically nodding at Kamukura, taking three more steps before Kamukura’s words finally hit him and made him stop on his track.

_‘Nagito’?_

“You’re on first name basis with Komaeda?” He asked, half-surprised and half-curious. “Owari did say you and Komaeda spent a lot of time together, but just what exactly was your relationship with him?”

Kamukura hummed, amused. _“Wouldn’t you like to know.”_

Hinata couldn’t help grumbling quietly and rolling his eyes at Kamukura’s response, now fully aware that if he wanted answers, he would have to ask Komaeda directly about it. Pushing Kamukura to the back of his mind, Hinata took the final steps towards the castle and then started walking among the long, apparently endless corridors until he reached the long staircase that led to the tower Komaeda was waiting for him. After what seemed to be hours climbing those stairs, he finally opened the door that led outside and stepped into the roof, being immediately enveloped by the warm afternoon breeze.

Komaeda was, once again, sitting by the edge of the roof, his legs moving back and forth in the air beneath him, his hair half tied up in a messy ponytail with a black ribbon, floating softly with the breeze.

He did not acknowledge Hinata’s presence, didn't turn around to greet him, didn’t say hello with his calm, breathy voice like he always did when Hinata approached him. Not even after Hinata sat down by his side. He just kept looking forward, to the horizon, to the sun slowly but surely moving towards its usual spot behind the far mountains for the time being, a small smile adorning his face, his skin glowing with the warm sun rays.

Hinata’s heart skipped a beat to the sight.

“Afternoon, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda broke the silence when it started getting awkward, looking sideways at Hinata, catching his eyes. Hinata’s eyes immediately darted away from his face and his cheeks immediately started burning, embarrassed that he was caught staring. “Did you perhaps already know where to find me, or was it a ‘lucky guess’ again?”

“A-ah, no. Someone- someone told me where to find you,” Hinata replied, running his fingers through his choppy hair, brushing away a thin strand that kept falling over his eyes and tickling his nose. Then, he sighed, and stared forward at the horizon as well –oddly enough, this time, the skies were not clean and free of clouds like usual. No, heavy clouds formed in the distance, slowly moving towards the island, lightnings dancing inside the purple-greyish clouds; it seemed that that night would be slightly fresher than usual. “You…” he started, uncertain, “you… Heard our conversation, didn’t you? About Towa City?” Upon hearing the mention of the city, Komaeda pressed his lips together. “That’s why you were not surprised when I found you. You already knew I would come. You were already waiting for me.”

“Woah, Hinata-kun, what talent is that? _Super High School Level Detective?_ Perhaps _Super High School Level Analyst?”_ Komaeda said with a giggle, but Hinata could see how forced it was –the smile that followed the giggle was passive-aggressive, bitter, harsh. Venomous, almost to the point of dripping from his lips. The hostility sent shivers down Hinata’s spine.

“I know I came up here because of that, but I want you to know that it’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about it,” Hinata said, carefully, fingers opening and closing in his lap, wishing to wrap themselves around Komaeda’s, but he did not move to touch him. “I will not force you to.”

“No, it’s okay, Hinata-kun. Really,” Komaeda giggled again, but it sounded more like a hiss through his forced smile and gritted teeth. “I mean, we’re not in Towa City anymore, are we? We’re trapped on an island with no way out, so what could you possibly do to abandon me too, to betray me too? Swim all the way up to the next abandoned island and never come back? Because sure I am worthless, but I also lack feelings, do I not?”

Hinata thought he had shivered again. It was only a moment later that he realized that the one who had shivered was not him, but Kamukura.

Something clicked inside his mind.

“The- the nightmare you told me about, about abandonment and betrayal,” Hinata started, eyes widening in surprise. Kamukura shivered again, which only confirmed his suspicions. _“Kamukura?!_ _He’s_ the one who abandoned and betrayed you? _What the hell?!”_ then, directioned towards himself: “Kamukura, what the _hell?”_

Komaeda blinked at the last part, confused. His scowl softened a little. “... What?”

 _“...”_ Kamukura’s presence was back to the back of his mind. If Hinata was to put a name to what Kamukura was apparently feeling at that moment, it would be ‘shame’. _“I’m afraid I did certain things that I am not proud of. Yes, you are correct. I did betray Nagito. And yes, this is something I regret up to these days. Unfortunately, I cannot fix my mistakes, therefore all I can do is offer my sincere apologies. If you could, tell him I am deeply sorry, even if he doesn’t forgive me.”_

 _“Bullshit,”_ Hinata hissed, angrily. He adjusted himself on the parapet, gripping the fabric of his jeans. A very, _very_ bad idea danced behind his hazy eyes. “Earlier you said you could possibly front if we both agreed to it, yes? Then _you_ come here and _you_ fix your mistakes. Talk to him.”

Komaeda’s scowl now gave place to an expression of pure concern. “Hinata-kun, what? Who are you talking to?”

 _“Hinata,”_ Kamukura said, firmly. _“I do not think this is-”_

“Komaeda,” Hinata addressed the man, ignoring Kamukura, turning around to face him. “Tell me, if you had an opportunity to talk to Kamukura again, would you want to?”

“I- what?”

“Would you like to talk to Kamukura again, or would you prefer not to?”

 _“Yes,”_ Komaeda quickly replied, eyes still slightly widened half in curiosity, half in concern –Hinata _was_ apparently talking to himself, after all. “Yes, I would like to talk to Izuru again.”

“Okay, good,” Hinata nodded, then straightened his back and cleared his throat. “Kamukura, you heard him,” he made a pause, “I mean, I _think_ you did. You… You can front.”

_“Hinata-”_

“It’s okay,” Hinata assured him in a whisper, through gritted teeth, low enough for only him to hear. “It’s fine.”

 _“...”_ Kamukura hesitated for a moment. _“... Very well.”_

Hinata swallowed hard, his heart racing inside his chest. “Just… Just promise me you won’t leave the roof while you’re fronting. Or do anything to hurt Komaeda or any of the others. Please.”

_“I would never hurt Na-”_

_“Promise_ me.”

 _“...”_ Kamukura fell quiet for a moment, and then: _“I promise.”_

Hinata sighed in relief, shot Komaeda one last look, and smiled encouragely. He tried to mask how fucking _terrified_ he was, and how fucking _stupid_ this idea sounded –he _just_ learned about Kamukura’s presence, the guy who _orchestrated the killing game,_ the guy who _led the Remnants of Despair,_ and was allowing him to take over of his body. Allowing himself to be vulnerable. If Kamukura was to hurt someone while fronting, then no one but Komaeda would know. His friends would think Hinata hurted them, and the little trust they built along those few months after the simulation would all be thrown out the window.

For a terrifying moment, Hinata panicked –this was not a good idea, Kamukura was _dangerous._ He didn’t know _anything_ about the guy. For all he knew, Kamukura could go out on a killing spree as soon as he fronted.

But then he felt gentle hands wrapping around his own, and a comforting presence in the back of his mind assuring him everything would be okay, and he found himself instantly relaxing. He sighed, relieved, then looked up towards Komaeda.

… And the entire world suddenly went black.  
  


**-x-  
  
**

It’s always ~~cold~~ hot ~~in Towa City~~ on Jabberwock Island.  
  


* * *

It’s always hot on Jabberwock Island.

The fingers who gently massaged his scalp, however, were not.

Upon regaining his consciousness, Hinata did not immediately open his eyes, aware of the sunlight directly above him. He kept his eyes closed while trying to remember where he was and what had happened while enjoying the soft, hoarse humming coming from above, until the memories slowly began to come back to him like gentle crashing waves.

Kamukura. Kamukura took control of his body for a while. He was off for a while, and Kamukura had a talk with Komaeda.

Slowly, Hinata opened his eyes, aware of the sunlight above him, being greeted by the sight of Komaeda’s pretty face, distracted eyes focused on the horizon, face glowing with the sunset. He sighed internally in relief when he noticed he was still on the roof, and Komaeda didn’t seem to have physical wounds –at least, in this regard, Kamukura did not lie.

He brought a hand up to touch Komaeda’s face, however, as he noticed something else. “You’ve been crying.”

Komaeda gasped quietly, voice faltering for a moment as he was startled, mechanic fingers freezing on Hinata’s scalp. He studied Hinata’s face for a moment, in search of something, before smiling sadly and looking towards the horizon again, resuming the humming.

“I have.”

“Why?”

“Because certain things are painful to say out loud.”

Hinata pressed his lips together, stroking Komaeda’s cheekbone with his thumb, watching the way Komaeda closed his eyes and leaned on his touch, a single, lonely tear running down his face. He carefully wiped it away with his thumb.

“Did you two talk?”

“We did.”

“And do you… Do you wanna talk about it?” Hinata carefully asked him in a whisper, barely louder than the early evening wind blowing. “It’s okay if you don’t.”

“No, it’s fine,” Komaeda replied in the same low voice, twirling a strand of Hinata’s hair between his metal fingers. “It’s… It’s fine now.”

Hinata carefully studied Komaeda’s face for a moment, then quietly nodded and sat down and fell silent, allowing Komaeda to start talking.

Komaeda told him everything. About Towa City, about the Warriors of Hope, about Towa Monaka and Naegi Komaru and Fukawa Touko, about all the times he almost died in that godawful city, and all the pain he’s been through. He told him about Kamukura Izuru, and about how they were _lovers,_ and then about how they weren’t. Told him about betrayal and lies and pain and love and worship and how everything was so goddamn painful, hard, fragile. Told him about how cold Towa City was, in contrast to how hot Jabberwock Island was.

Told him about how much he loved Kamukura, and about how bad Kamukura fucked things up.

(Told him about how Kamukura showed so many emotions during their talk that it felt almost wrong, because Kamukura Izuru didn’t wear his emotions on his sleeve like that.)

Once he was done talking, Komaeda was crying again, quietly, just allowing the tears to run down his face, and Hinata could do nothing but just hold him close as he quietly sobbed in the curvature of his neck.

He would have to have a very, _very serious_ talk with Kamukura later.

It took a while for Komaeda to stop crying, but even after he did, he did not move away from Hinata, just adjusted his face in the curvature of his neck until he was resting against Hinata’s shoulder and staring at the horizon again, arms loosely wrapping the man’s waist, while Hinata had an arm protectively around Komaeda’s shoulders and his fingers wrapped around the wild white strands, massaging his scalp just like Komaeda had been doing with him a moment ago.

“I loved him,” Komaeda whispered under his breath, sighing. “I loved him, Hinata-kun. But I don’t think he felt the same,” he then giggled softly afterwards, humorless. “Not that I blame him, though. Izuru was the embodiment of hope, and I’m just worthless trash.”

Hinata pressed his lips together, chest aching painfully. He thought about reaching Kamukura, about asking about it, but it wasn’t until he thought about doing that that he noticed Kamukura’s presence was not there. He had isolated himself and blocked their connection.

_Good._

“For… For what you told me, I think he did love you. He wouldn’t have done a lot of things he did if he did not,” Hinata said, being forced to act on his own. He was never the best at comforting people, but he had to try. For Komaeda. Even if it hurted him. “But I think you just... Had a miscommunication,” then he grunted. “And stop calling yourself trash. You’re not trash.”

Komaeda seemed to consider that for a moment. Not the _‘you’re not trash’_ part, of course.

“Miscommunication, huh?” Komaeda snorted. “I suppose that’s one way to look at it.”

Hinata stared at the horizon again. The thick rain clouds were now way closer than they were before Kamukura fronted and thunder could be heard in the distance, but the sun hadn’t set yet, so Hinata couldn’t be off for more than an hour. It would start raining anytime soon now, however, so it would be better if they did not delay on the fourth island. “Maybe…” Hinata broke the silence when it started to last for too long. “Maybe he was the right person, at the wrong time.”

“Maybe,” Komaeda agreed, smiling softly, yet his eyes were so incredibly sad. “But it doesn’t matter now. Not anymore. Izuru and I… We’re no longer together. We couldn’t possibly be.”

Hinata fell silent, pressing his lips together again. His demons danced happily around his shoulders, whispering nonsense in his ears; one truly sad for Komaeda, angry because Kamukura broke his heart and Komaeda was already someone who beared _so much shit_ and did not deserve to bear even more, and one selfishly relieved, ashamed, because if Komaeda and Kamukura were no longer together then Komaeda could finally move on.

Both made him feel like shit.

They delayed on the castle until long after the sun was fully set, until the thick rain clouds finally reached the island, until it finally started pouring. Neither of them said anything –not when they were sitting side by side with their shoulders pressed together, staring quietly at the horizon, and not when they returned to the main island still side by side, the very welcomed thin rain gently enveloping them, fingers brushing together with each step, longing for them to be tightly wrapped together like they already grew used to. Neither of them said anything when they parted ways for the night, or when Hinata walked Komaeda to his cottage, or when they quietly looked at each other for a moment longer than usual as if they were waiting for something unknown to happen. 

Hinata didn’t say anything during dinner, not when Kuzuryuu tried to talk with him, not when Tsumiki asked him for help with making the new glasses for Pekoyama and Togami, the new contact lens for Souda and the new prescription glasses for all the others who also needed them now (Mitarai, Owari, Komaeda and Saionji. Hinata believed that he, too, needed prescription glasses, but still hadn’t talked with Tsumiki about it). Not when Komaeda showed up in his pajamas to get dinner later.

Hinata only spoke when he was back to his cottage that night, already lying down in his bed, facing the white ceiling above him while listening to the constant sound of the crashing waves in the distance and the thick rain hitting the roof and walls of his cottage.

“You’re a fucking asshole.”

Kamukura, who had only then unblocked their connection and returned to the back of his mind, seemed to freeze in surprise. _“I beg your pardon?”_

“You’re a _fucking_ asshole,” Hinata repeated, angrily chewing on his chapped lips. “Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?”

_“I’m afraid I do not know what-”_

_“Komaeda.”_ Hinata firmly stated through gritted teeth.

 _“Ah,”_ Kamukura said, seeming to be ashamed. At least he had the _decency_ to appear to be ashamed. _“He told you about Towa City, I suppose?”_

 _“Yes,_ he told me about how you lied to him about how you would meet again when you pretty damn well knew you wouldn’t. Seriously, what the hell? Why did you do that?”

 _“I had to get him to agree to be put in the program,”_ Kamukura explained, but it only made things worse, only made Hinata even angrier. _“He would not have accepted it if he knew I would not be myself in the simulation and_ cease to exist _after we left it.”_

Hinata almost laughed at how ridiculous that was. “So not only you _lied_ to him, but you also _manipulated_ him?!”

 _“As I already told you, I did certain things I am not proud of. Things I regret and wish I could change,”_ Kamukura said, voice lower and sadder than normal. _“But while we are at this subject, I must say that I never truly wanted to inflict pain in Nagito. Like I already said, I would never hurt him.”_

“But you did,” Hinata stated firmly once again. He felt Kamukura stiffening in his mind. “You hurted Komaeda. He loved you, and you hurted him.”

 _“Don’t be foolish, Hinata,”_ Kamukura said, sadly. _“Nagito never truly loved me. What he felt for me was nothing but plain worship for my ‘hope’.”_

“He did,” Hinata firmly stated once again, angrier than before. “Don’t you- don’t you _dare_ try to invalidate or diminish his feelings. You were not there when he was crying while saying he loved you. You were not the one holding him as he cried on your shoulders because he fucking loved you and you fucking lied to him and used him.”

After that, Kamukura fell oddly silent. For a moment, Hinata felt proud, because he thought he had finally gone through Kamukura’s thick skull and put some sense into his mind, but when Kamukura’s presence returned extremely confused and lost, Hinata almost hesitated. _“... What?”_

“I said, don’t you dare try to-”

 _“No, not this part,”_ Kamukura interrupted, wearing emotions that Hinata could only describe as ‘sorrow’ and ‘perplexity’. _“Did you confirm he loved me directly from him?”_

“...Yes?”

Kamukura made a confused sound in the back of his throat. _“But that’s- that’s not- this can’t be right.”_

That was when it hit him.

“Kamukura,” Hinata called him when the man started stuttering, realizing something. “Did you perhaps… Did not think, did not _know,_ that Komaeda actually loved you?”

 _“I did not,”_ Kamukura confessed, seeming to be in a mix of confusion, nervousness and bewilderment. _Of course_ he didn’t, how did Hinata not notice it sooner? _“Nagito always had a devotion for hope, even before he got into Hope’s Peak Academy. When he met_ me, _someone who was quite literally made to be the embodiment of hope, I thought he had found himself attached to the idea of having hope for himself. I never thought he would… Want something with me simply because he liked_ me.”

“So you decided to take advantage of that and use him for your own sick and twisted goals?”

 _“Hinata,”_ Kamukura said, firmly, yet so incredibly broken that for a moment Hinata almost faltered. _“I never used Nagito. Not once. If anything, I was the one who allowed myself to be used.”_

“Now what the heck does _that_ mean?”

 _“It means that everyone is boring,”_ Kamukura replied, and Hinata almost cursed him for dodging the question, but Kamukura cut him before he could. _“I was cursed the moment I woke up in that pod after my creation, and unfortunately, it's a burden I had to carry. Humans are so utterly predictable and flawed that it bothers me, it bores me, and I hardly find humanity as beautiful as Nagito does. But Nagito…”_ he then made a pause, like he was trying to choose his next words carefully. _“Nagito was, Nagito_ is… _Not boring.”_

Hinata froze for a moment, staring at his ceiling with widened eyes as he processed the words, then promptly burst out in laughter once they installed themselves in his mind.

So it truly was, just like he told Komaeda for comfort on the castle, a huge misunderstanding. A huge misunderstanding, and one hell of a lack of communication.

How cruel could Komaeda’s luck be?

“You liked him,” Hinata said, more to himself than to Kamukura, laughing in disbelief. “You actually _liked_ him?”

 _“I_ loved _him,”_ Kamukura replied, and Hinata instantly stopped laughing. _Oh. “At that time, I didn't even know I was capable of feeling such things as love, but I did. I loved him, and I let him use me because I was selfish. Because Towa City was harsh, but Nagito’s presence made it a little less rough. A little more tolerable.”_

Hinata bit his lip, still quite unsure about everything. “Still doesn’t explain why you lied to him about the program.”

 _“I did it because I simply never expected you to have your memories from your despair days back. I never predicted that,”_ Kamukura explained, slowly, his voice so loaded with sorrow that Hinata almost felt bad for him. _“I believed you would not remember your despair days after you woke up from the simulation, therefore I simply saw no reason to unnecessarily make Nagito sad. What was the point of telling him we would never meet again, if I could at least bring some comfort to him before the simulation to make the dive in more reassuring, more comfortable?”_

Hinata bit his lip again. “I… Guess that’s one way to look at it.”

 _“I understand if you do not trust me,”_ Kamukura said, voicing Hinata’s thoughts. _“It’s the right choice to make. I did bring a lot of pain for you and your friends, and for that I am deeply and terribly sorry, but do believe me when I say this, Hinata: I would never,_ ever, _do something to harm Nagito. About that, you do not need to worry.”_

He found himself absently humming in agreement with Kamukura, unfocused eyes staring at his ceiling, until the words finally reached his brain and he frowned.

“Wait, why would I _worry_ about this?”

For the first time since the beginning of this conversation, Kamukura seemed to be slightly less tense. He hummed, amused. _“While we do not share feelings, we do share a body, therefore I am aware of your emotions just like you are of mine. I can see you are fond of Nagito, Hinata.”_

“I- I’m not-!” Hinata widened his eyes, stuttering. “Not _you_ too!”

Kamukura hummed again, the sound leaning really close to a soft giggle. _“It seems like Nagito has a strange power over us, does it not?”_

“I’m not… _Fond_ of him! Seriously, shut up!” Hinata scream-whispered in his lonely cottage, propping up on his elbows to stare glassily at the far wall of his bed, but it wasn’t like he was truly mad at Kamukura for that –if anything, he was more embarrassed than angry. “A-and if I _am,_ then it’s _your_ feelings getting in the way of mine!”

 _“Inconceivable,”_ Kamukura said, amused, again. That smug _bastard. “I just told you that while we do share a body, we do not share feelings. We are merely two different people inhabiting the same body, Hinata.”_

“Then-! Then what I feel is-!” Hinata tried to argue, but all his arguments died on the tip of his tongue when he realized there really was nothing to argue about. He fell back on his mattress, throwing an arm over his forehead and staring at the ceiling with a heavy sigh –A thunder sounded closely, the rain thickened. The cool air the rain brought managed to drop the temperature a bit, making the night cooly pleasant. “Crap. _Crap.”_

 _“It is quite alright. You do not need to panic, or fear your feelings,”_ Kamukura calmly said, and for a moment, Hinata felt inclined to believe him. Especially when he felt Kamukura smiling, and he felt his chest ache painfully. 

_“I would say Nagito is a quite complicated, but extraordinary person to love and be loved by, but I’m quite sure you already know that.”_

He then faded from Hinata’s conscience, and Hinata found himself alone in his cool cottage again, with endless skeletons in his closet and a sea of oppressive but already familiar mixed feelings. He stared blankly at pouring rain outside his cabin, and the thick raindrops and occasional lightning stared back at him. He allowed the sound of the violent crashing waves in the distance, the pouring rain and the distant thunders to lullaby him to sleep.

That night, he dreamed of white moon halos and constellations and beautiful pale green-greyish eyes so amiable that could warm up even the forever coldness of the forever cold Towa City from the stories he’d heard.  
  


**-x-x-x-**

_The skies are painted a deep red, decorated with dark tendrils of smoke that rise towards the crimson skies like snakes sliding towards its prey. The streets are filthy, filled with decaying bodies and debris of fallen buildings. The smell of rotten flesh is overwhelming, almost to the point it’s unbearable, but he doesn’t mind. He’s already used to it. Grew used to it long ago._

_He’s standing over a fallen building, watching the ruins of the city beneath his feet, and his hair is flowing gracefully with the polluted wind without a single knot despite the situation he found himself in. Next to him, there’s a familiar presence. Welcoming, pleasant, interesting._

_Not boring._

_Never boring. Not his companion. Not his lover._

_Cold, slender fingers wrap around his own, giving a soft, comforting squeeze that he long grew used to. The sound of a chain clanking with the wind echo around the destroyed streets, and he only turns his gaze away from the city in ruins when his lover whispers something in his ear followed by a weak giggle._

_He turns around to stare at a beautiful pair of pale greyish eyes, although they are more of a greenish tone instead of grey because of the unnatural red skies, and feels the constant uneasiness of his body fading a little. His lover holds his stare for about a minute, says something with that breathy, sick voice of his, then gently cups his face and touches their lips together like he’s done a thousand of times before._

_He closes his eyes, and Hinata finds himself melting into a touch that is not real.  
  
_

* * *

It’s always hot on Jabberwock Island, even during the nights.

Although the rain from the other day did manage to make the temperature drop for one night or so, as soon as the thick rain clouds vanished the hot weather returned and everyone found themselves melting down under the scorching sun of the island again. And during the nights, while there isn’t a sun to be burned under, the hot sultry remained, making sleep a difficult task quite often.

The increasingly hot weather also meant everyone used the air-conditioning in their cottages at the same time, which made it very likely for a short circuit to accidentally happen.

Which is why Hinata found himself currently lying sprawled awake on his bed at three in the morning, his breath coming out in short puffs as blankly stared at his ceiling with his pajama shirt sweat-soaked, his air-conditioning off because it broke a few nights ago and he still couldn’t find the time to fix it. 

He hummed a random song under his breath as he waited for the gods to have mercy on him and let him sleep, the crashing waves and crickets in the distance working as the melody of his humming as he flatly stared at the ceiling fan spinning slowly above him. Because his air-conditioning wasn’t working, he had to turn on the ceiling fan, just so he wouldn’t roast in the quietness of his room, but it didn’t take long for him to accept that only the old ceiling fan wasn’t gonna keep the heat away.

It wouldn’t be too bad if he went out for a quick dip in the ocean, right? It wouldn’t be the first time he left his cottage during the night since they arrived on the island. Besides, it wasn’t like he never saw Owari swimming with Nidai at that time before.

Just a quick dip in the ocean to cool down the heat. Nothing too reckless.

Sighing, Hinata finally waved the white flag and left his bed, making a grimace as his sweaty shirt stuck to his torso. He stretched, yawned and took off his shirt, then put on a new button-up clean, dry and free-of-sweat shirt and left it unbuttoned (an hawaiian shirt, like the ones Kuzuryuu wore. Courtesy of Kuzuryuu himself), changed into his swimming shorts and slipped into his slippers before grabbing a towel and leaving his room.

As he walked among the quiet cottages towards the hotel lobby for a water bottle, Hinata noticed that he wasn’t the only one suffering from the heat and who thought about doing something to cool it down.

Komaeda was quietly swimming in the pool of the hotel, his eyes closed, facing up towards the sky as he moved his arms softly in the water to keep floating. There was a soft smile on his lips, and judging by how every now and then Hinata would see his Adam’s apple moving, he was also humming under his breath.

Hinata stopped on his track, blinking at the sight of Komaeda very shirtless in the pool at three in the morning, and considered his possibilities; one, he could stick to his original plan and just leave Komaeda alone and follow straight to the ocean for his quick dip. Two, he could make Komaeda some company, because he knew Komaeda would like it. Three, he could turn on his heels and return to his cottage like a big coward because he still wasn’t ready to face and accept the feelings that he knew were there, somewhere, not-so-deeply inside his chest.

It was Komaeda who decided for him, naturally.

“Ah, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda called out his name, not loud enough for the other people sleeping in their cottages to hear but still loud enough for Hinata himself to do so. “I didn’t expect to see anyone else here at a time like this.”

Hinata blinked, snapping himself away from his hazy state, then sighed before crossing the remaining distance between them and sitting by the edge of the pool, putting his feet in the water. There was nothing he could do to run from Komaeda now. “Couldn’t sleep. My cottage gets too hot without air-conditioning,” he admitted, then frowned as he thought over what Komaeda had said. “‘Anyone else’?”

Komaeda hummed, closing back his eyes and floating in the crystal-clean pool water, arms moving ever so slowly so he would keep his face above the water. “Saw Owari-san heading back to her cottage a while ago. She went for a night dip on the ocean, I suppose.”

So Hinata really wasn’t the only one suffering from the excruciatingly hot weather. Good to know. “I see,” he nodded, lifting his leg to throw some water at Komaeda. “What about you? Doesn’t your arm rust in the water?”

“Same as you,” Komaeda replied, easily dodging Hinata’s water attack with a soft scoff. “But I simply decided to go out for a night swim. My air-conditioning is working just fine,” he then giggled. “Also, no. Souda-kun made it waterproof.”

 _“Of course it is,”_ Hina said through his teeth, more to himself than Komaeda, then at said man: “Sometimes your luck looks like cheating. It’s not fair to the others who don't have a luck cycle like yours.”

“Well, I _was_ the Super High School Level Good Luck, was I not?” The man replied with an easy giggle. “While we are no longer Hope’s Peak Academy’s students, my talent still remains.”

In a way, Hinata supposed that was true; while they were no longer students at Hope’s Peak Academy, their talents _did_ remain. They were what got them into the school, after all. Komaeda still had his good luck, just like Souda was still a mechanic, Koizumi was still a photographer, Sonia was still a princess. They still had the talents, they just did not have the title of ‘Super High School Level’ to go under anymore. Right now, they were nothing but some people who were simply good, better than others, at some stuff.

Somehow, the thought made Hinata less worried about certain things that were probably bound to happen in the future, like a burden was taken off his shoulders –one less burden in an endless sea of plenty of those, but one less burden nonetheless.

He must've had zoned off at some point, because he was snapped back to reality by Komaeda throwing water in his face. He gasped, surprised, blinking at Komaeda.

“Ah, don’t do this!” He scream-whispered, exasperated, tapping the water away from his chest and face.

“Are you coming in?”

Hinata blinked again, hands stopping over his chest middle-action. “What?”

“Are you coming into the pool?” Komaeda repeated, now standing in the middle of the pool instead of floating above the water, arms still moving slowly. “It’s why you left your cottage, isn’t it? The water feels great, you can come in.”

“Ah,” Hinata said, pinching his nose. It wasn’t _exactly_ the reason why he’d left his cottage, but still a very close interpretation –however, only the thought of swimming alone with, again, a very shirtless Komaeda during nighttime in a dark pool made him restless. “I think I, uh- I think I’ll pass.”

Komaeda grumbled, throwing more water in Hinata’s direction. He tried to dodge this time, but some drops still managed to hit him and wet his shirt and shorts.

“Stop it!”

“C’mon, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda whined, dragging the honorific in an exasperated way. He threw more water in Hinata’s direction, Hinata tried to dodge again. “Just a quick dip to make me company.”

“No, stop it!” Hinata hissed as he tried to dodge the water attack, kicking water in Komaeda’s direction to defend himself, but Komaeda only accepted the attack, giggled and threw even more water at him. “Komaeda!”

“Hinata-kun!”

Hinata grunted with a bit of amusement in the tone, a trace of a smile starting to form in the corner of his lips as he kicked more water at Komaeda and removed his shirt. “Look at that! It’s all wet now! It’s your fault!” He told Komaeda while pointing at his barely wet shirt, then threw it aside and stood by the edge of the pool before quickly diving into the water, reappearing in front of Komaeda barely a second later. He didn’t even stop to actually enjoy the welcoming fresh water on his hot skin. 

Once he emerged, he smirked devilishly at Komaeda. “Now you have to pay.”

And began the water attack.

Komaeda instantly started laughing loudly as Hinata threw water at him while scolding him for wetting his shirt, barely managing to attack him back with more water. He tried to push Komaeda’s head playfully into the water, and then had his _own_ head pushed into the water later, and they threw water at each other until they both were laughing so deeply that they could barely breathe and could probably wake up the people sleeping in their cottages with their loud laughter, but neither of them actually cared. Once the laughter eventually died and they recovered their breath, Komaeda returned to float above the water while facing the stars above them, while Hinata finally took his time to appreciate the fresh water.

“It really feels great,” he murmured as he moved his arms under the water, feeling that weird sensation of water brushing against his skin. “It’s not too cold.”

“It never is,” Komaeda replied, still facing the sky. From this point of view, Hinata could only see part of his chin, his nose and the white sea of his hair floating around his head. “I can see why Mitarai-kun likes to swim at night.”

“Oh?” Hinata said, blinking curiously at Komaeda. He mirrored the man’s position and started floating above the water, facing the stars above them. As usual, the stars silently stared back at him. “Mitarai goes out at night?”

“Sometimes.” Komaeda answered, voice hoarse and breathy. “He likes to be alone. I think he finds everyone’s presence too overwhelming, so he swims when everyone else is sleeping. Sometimes Togami-san and Tsumiki-san join him as well, but it’s not too often.”

“I see,” Hinata murmured, to the stars, to Komaeda. “I never saw any of them.”

“It’s not too often,” Komaeda said again, then Hinata heard him moving in the water to stand in the pool again when the floating started to get uncomfortable. He turned around to face the man and allowed his feet to hit the pool’s floor as well, mirroring his position, then squinted his eyes towards Komaeda when he caught a glimpse of something that caught his attention.

Komaeda had his back at him. Because of the inner pool lightings, casting a pale blue light on Komaeda’s slender frame, Hinata was able to see the trace of a deep scar crossing his entire back, fully cicatrized but still not faint enough to be old, glimmering with the water drops and blue lighting.

He unconsciously crossed the distance between them and stopped by Komaeda’s side, eyes still fixed on the scar even when the man turned his head to glance at Hinata.

“What is that?” Hinata asked, pointing at the scar. “The scar on your back,” he explained when Komaeda just frowned at his question.

Komaeda instantly froze at the mention of the scar, and Hinata instantly regretted asking in the first place _–you don’t go out asking people about their scars, Hinata,_ he internally told himself. _That's_ _inconvenient._

“S-sorry, I shouldn’t-”

“No no, it’s okay, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda quickly giggled. “I was just a bit surprised that you asked about it.”

Hinata found himself instantly relaxing upon seeing Komaeda’s soft smile. “What happened?”

“Battle scars. Like I told you before,” Komaeda replied, then turned around and crossed the small distance between them until he was face to face with Hinata. Hinata’s eyes immediately traveled down to Komaeda’s chest, where three other identical scars as the one on his back crossed his torso. “Towa City wasn’t kind to me.”

Unconsciously, Hinata brought his hand to trace the scars, but instantly froze when he realized what he was about to do. But then Komaeda gave him a look and nodded ever so slightly, so he allowed his fingertips to trace the deep marks forever marked on Komaeda’s sickly pale skin. The skin was slightly rough there, protruding, of a pale pinkish color that told Hinata that the scars couldn’t be more than two years old.

Unwittingly, Hinata thought about the scar crossing the top of his own forehead, in the hairline, from when the doctors messed up with his brain many years ago and made him into Kamukura. His choppy hair with uneven fringe usually covered it during daily life, but at that moment, with his hair wet and pulled back, the scar was fully exposed.

He instantly raised his eyes to look at Komaeda when he thought about his scar, to see if the man could see said scar and if he was bothered about it, but Komaeda caught his eyes the moment he looked up and Hinata found himself at loss of words.

Because it wasn’t until now, upon looking at Komaeda so closely in the pale blue lighting of the pool, that Hinata noticed yet another scar.

It was way thinner than the ones on his chest and back, faint, barely visible, but it was there. Starting just slightly above the beginning of his right eyebrow, crossing his nose and ending by the left corner of his mouth, white, faded. It was thin enough to be considered only a scratch, like Komaeda dodged from whatever caused the scar just in time to avoid getting his face hit.

Lucky bastard.

Hinata brought his hand up to touch that scar too, and he felt Komaeda instantly holding his breath as he did so. He gently traced the scar, slowly, with his fingertips hovering the mark in a way that he knew that gave Komaeda goosebumps. Komaeda’s lashes flickered with the contact, water drops dripping from its tips, his eyes closed as Hinata caressed his face, and Hinata felt his heart beating so stupidly fast inside his chest.

Komaeda was beautiful. He was so, so beautiful.

His long, white lashes, his faint freckles, his ethereal green-greyish eyes that were now closed as he enjoyed the feeling of Hinata caressing his face, the sharp cheekbones, his fluffy white hair wet and framing his face, long enough for the tips to go past his shoulders.

His lips, chapped like Hinata’s own, so pinkish and soft-looking and so, so inviting.

Hinata wondered. He wondered, how would they feel against his own?

“Hinata,” Komaeda called in a soft whisper, and Hinata followed every syllable that came out of his lips with his eyes in trance, unable to look away, not even noticing the drop of honorific.

“Mm?” Hinata hummed, and Komaeda brought his hand up, resting it above Hinata’s, also following with his eyes as the words left his lips. Hinata moved to cup Komaeda’s face instead of just touching the scar across his nose.

“Tell me. What would you do, if someone were to steal a kiss?”

Hinata thought about it, absently, still in trance, mind hazy with nothing but Komaeda, Komaeda, Komaeda.

“I would have to take it back,” was what he answered.

Komaeda hummed in agreement, his Adam’s apple moving with the sound, and Hinata followed with his eyes as a single drop ran down his neck, down his collarbones, down his chest, and disappeared into the pool. When the drop disappeared, he looked back at Komaeda’s eyes in a half-lid, and the next thing he knew was that there was a pair of chapped, yet very soft lips pressing against his own.

The kiss was short and soft, experimental, hesitant, just to test the waters, just to test the boundaries, and it was over before Hinata could even realize and freak out about what was happening. But even after the kiss was over, neither of them backed away –instead, Komaeda pressed their foreheads together and exhaled softly, unsteadily, a faint smile threatening to form in the corner of his lips. Hinata closed his eyes and bit his lips, trying to savour the experimental taste of Komaeda’s lips and wishing to mark it forever in his mind, hand moving from the man’s face to the back of his neck, a weird but warm feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Surprisingly, it didn’t scare him. It felt oddly natural. The realization and acceptance that he was, in fact, _in love_ with Komaeda hit him with way less force than he imagined it would, because deep down he had already accepted it. He just didn’t want to admit it, because he was not sure if Komaeda could reciprocate him, and because he didn’t know if he could live with that fact if Komaeda didn’t.

Looked like he had his answer. The answer he was hoping for.

Hinata Hajime was a hundred percent, truly, madly and deeply in love with Komaeda Nagito, and Komaeda Nagito was truly, madly and deeply in love with Hinata Hajime.

(Well, Hinata didn’t know _for sure_ if Komaeda was _in love_ with him, but he figured that he at least felt _something_ for him, because he was the one who kissed him first, yes?)

He was only snapped away from his daydreaming when he heard Komaeda scoffing ever so softly in front of him. When he opened his eyes, he was met with the sight of Komaeda smiling softly, his eyes half-closed in crescents, a faint blush on his cheeks.

“Hinata-kun,” Komaeda said in a whisper, giggling afterwards. “I bet I can stay underwater longer than you.”

“What?” Hinata whispered back, still in a haze, until his brain finally processed the words and he frowned, his voice returning to normal. “Wait, what? No, no you can’t!”

Komaeda giggled, moving away from Hinata and swimming away from him on his back with a smirk on his lips. Hinata instantly missed his warmth. “I bet.”

“Oh yeah?” Hinata said also with a smirk, cracking his knuckles and neck. “Let’s see who can stay underwater for longer then!”

Komaeda giggled again, but allowed Hinata to swim closer to him, then they both stopped face to face.

“On three,” Komaeda said, and Hinata nodded.

“On three.”

“Okay. One, two, three!”

They both dived in at the same time, floating underwater face to face with their eyes open to see if the other would cheat. Hinata smiled and wiggled his eyebrows, confident that his _Super High School Level Diver_ talent would help him win this sudden silly competition, but he squinted his eyes when he saw Komaeda’s devilish grin.

He frowned and parted his lips to mouth what he was doing, but was cut middle-action when Komaeda crossed the small distance between them and pressed their lips together again.

Hinata instantly widened his eyes and inhaled water in surprise, emerging to cough and squeeze his nose stinging painfully. Komaeda emerged a moment later, laughing deeply in a carefree way.

“Told you I could stay underwater for longer,” the man said in an amused tone, lazily swimming on his back.

“No, that’s cheating. You cheated. It doesn’t count,” Hinata grunted, making a grimace as he blew his nose. After a moment, when his nose no longer stung, he pointed a finger at Komaeda. “Let’s do it again.”

“Don’t be a sore loser, Hinata-kun.”

“No, you cheated,” Hinata repeated. “Let’s do it again.”

Komaeda gave him a smug smile. “If you insist.”

They both swam closer again, stopped face to face, and counted to three again, Komaeda smiling smugly and Hinata with a scowl.

When they submerged again, this time Hinata was ready.

 _He_ was the one who crossed the distance between them and angrily smashed their lips together again.

However, Komaeda didn’t react the way Hinata did. Instead of getting caught by surprise, inhaling water and being forced to emerge, Komaeda smiled against Hinata’s lips, brought a hand to the back of his neck, tilted his face to the side so their lips would fit better, and kissed him back.

They kissed underwater until air was absolutely necessary. When they had to emerge to breathe, Hinata let Komaeda emerge first, then followed him suit.

Once they were out of the water again, Hinata inhaled deeply and snorted, giving Komaeda the same smug smile the man gave him earlier.

“I _told_ you you couldn’t stay underwater longer than me.”

Komaeda stared at Hinata in disbelief for a moment, then promptly started laughing. His laugh was slightly more breathless and wheezy than normal, Hinata noticed, and the blush on his cheeks was way more apparent than before. However, his lips were trembling slightly, and it didn’t take long for Hinata to realize it wasn’t because he was laughing.

He shot a look towards the sky, staring at the stars and the moon silently watching over them. It was still dark, but Hinata figured they were outside for at least an hour now, and the water was starting to get cold.

“I think- I think we should head back to the cottages now,” he said, and he didn’t miss the soft sigh of relief Komaeda let out. “Yeah, we should head back. It’s getting cold.”

“Lead the way then, Hinata-kun.”

They left the pool shortly after that. Hinata put his shirt back on, although he still left it unbuttoned, and Komaeda quickly dried his hair a little before throwing his towel over his shoulders, then they both followed to the cottages, fingers brushing softly as they walked side by side, their shoulders and arms completely pressed together.

This time, Hinata finally took the courage to reach out and take Komaeda’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers together and giving a soft squeeze he never did. Komaeda smiled, not looking at Hinata, and squeezed their fingers again in return. Hinata’s stupid heart skipped a beat.

As always, Hinata walked Komaeda to his cottage first, hand in hand, opening the door for him and allowing him to walk in. As he watched Komaeda from the doorstep, as the man walked further into his room and stopped right in the middle of it, slowly turning on his heels to catch Hinata’s eyes on his, smiling softly, dropping the towel around his shoulders on the floor and standing shirtless in front of him, Hinata realized that he was not ready to let him go. Not yet. Not tonight.

He slowly stepped into Komaeda’s room, still holding his stare, and gently closed the door behind him, blindly locking it with a soft click that echoed around the room.

Komaeda’s smile became even warmer and fonder, and he silently watched as Hinata removed his shoes by the doorstep and slowly crossed the distance between them, stopping merely a few centimeters away from him. Their breaths almost mixed together with such proximity.

“Hi,” Komaeda whispered in the silent cottage after a minute or so with a soft giggle, and Hinata found himself smiling fondly as well.

“Hi,” he said back, allowing Komaeda to enlace their fingers back together when he reached for his left hand. At the same time, Hinata brought his other hand to brush a wavy strand of white hair away from Komaeda’s face, placing it behind his ear, watching as it slid back to his cheek. He brushed it away again, then placed his hand over Komaeda’s cheek to keep the strand away from his pretty face.

Komaeda’s eyes almost shimmered in expectation in the dim light of his cottage, his pretty face being illuminated by the moonlight that entered the room through the window blinds, faint freckles only visible by the proximity, pink lips still so soft-looking and still so, so inviting.

“Say, Komaeda,” he whispered in the same low voice as Komaeda did earlier, voice barely audible, caressing Komaeda’s cheekbone with his thumb and hooked on the way Komaeda followed each word with his eyes. “What would you do, if someone were to steal a kiss?”

Komaeda smiled so, so fondly, with his eyes still focused on Hinata’s lips, and Hinata was so, so gone. “I would have to take it back.”

Hinata also followed each word with his eyes, then pressed their lips together as soon as Komaeda stopped talking.

Komaeda instantly melted into the kiss, sighing softly against Hinata’s lips and throwing his arms over his shoulders to bring him closer, tilting his head slightly to the side for their lips to fit better. Hinata quickly changed Komaeda’s face to grip on his waist, bringing the man even closer with both of his hands and pressing their bodies together in a way that Komaeda bent backwards a little, lips moving together almost agonizingly slowly. They broke the kiss for a moment when Komaeda became breathless, making Hinata unconsciously chase after his lips and Komaeda giggle softly, but quickly resumed it after a short break –when they did so, Hinata opened his mouth when he felt Komaeda’s tongue poking his lips, and promptly allowed the man to dive in and explore his mouth.

(Hinata honestly didn’t know why he had taken so damn long to acknowledge and accept his feelings for Komaeda. Honestly. Fear, maybe. Or cowardice. Maybe a bit of both.)

They kissed and kissed and kissed, slowly and deeply and so intensely that Hinata almost saw stars behind his eyelids, with all the tongues and teeth and soft sounds echoing around the silent room, nothing like the timid kisses they shared at the pool. They kissed with a passion, leisurely but still so damn desperately, almost like they were trying to transmit their feelings through their lips, like they were desperate for the other to know how they felt. 

They kissed and they kissed, then they had to part their lips for a moment to breathe, then they kissed again, and again, and again, and once more. Clothes met the ground, bodies met the soft mattress, and lips met yet again. The fluorescent stars glued to Komaeda’s ceiling and the moon outside watched out for them until she was gone and the fluorescent lights faded and the sun rose, the only witnesses of all the things they did inside that cottage that night.

The next morning, when Hinata woke up with his limbs all tangled with Komaeda’s and with love marks spread all around his and (now) his lover’s body, still in Komaeda’s cottage, not even the excruciatingly hot weather could bother him. Because for the first time since he exited the simulation, Hinata found himself truly happy –they still had a long way to go until everyone was truly fine, until despair was fully gone, but he figured things would be less harsh with Komaeda’s warm hand on his.

It’s always hot on Jabberwock Island.

Komaeda’s touch, however, burned with the fierceness of a thousand suns, twice as hot.

**Author's Note:**

> Ever wondered during the story how exactly Hinata's ugly haircut looked like? Worry not, for I am here! *T-poses*. I drew it, [check this out](https://www.instagram.com/p/CJK4JmkMH0Y/). Do not leave this man with a scissor without supervision.
> 
> Ah! Just so we're clear, Kamukura and Komaeda DID love each other during their time together, but just as Hinata said, there was one hell of a lack of communication between them. I was writing a side scene covering the conversation between Kamukura and Komaeda, but as I was writing it I noticed that I could not write it without making Kamukura a giant asshole so I decided to make a quick thread on twitter explaining it. You can find it [here](https://twitter.com/kamukouma/status/1341989880495300613)! It's pretty much what Hinata says in the story, but better explained.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this story!


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